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The Burns and Allen Radio Programs | Part One

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Robert Burns Panatela Program spot ad from January 4th 1932

Little Jack Little circa 1935

Oakland Tribune spot ad for
The Adventures of Gracie
from September 28th 1934

Burns and Allen circa 1934

Tenor Phil Regan became the soloist for the first Burns and Allen programs for General Cigar

Brilliant composer Ferde Grofé wrapped up the Burns and Allen programs for General Cigar a music director for The Adventures of Gracie

Background

The Golden Ages of Radio and Television produced some of the most famous comedic talent in the history of American entertainment. But the true giants from the Golden Age represent a comparatively small fraternity indeed. For our part we offer our top ten comedy stars--or teams-- of the era as follows:

Easy Aces [Goodman and Jane Ace]
Fred Allen
Amos 'n' Andy [Freeman Gosden and Charles Correll]
Jack Benny
George Burns and Gracie Allen
Eddie Cantor
Bing Crosby
Bob Hope
Fibber McGee and Molly [Jim and Marian Jordan]
Lum 'n' Abner [Chester Lauck and Norris Goff]

With only a couple of exceptions, all of the above super-stars of Radio went on to equal stardom in Television. And indeed several of the Radio stars cited above also made numerous Film hits to one degree of success or another.

Take any number of dyed-in-the-wool Golden Age Radio fans and ask them to cite their own list of top-ten Radio stars and while the order of the above would doubtless change on each list, it's a safe bet that the overwhelming majority of the lists would contain seven or eight of the above stars or teams.

The most durable--and enduringly popular--Radio stars of the era brought not only a versatile mix of their own performing talents to their programs, but an equally inspired cast of multi-talented supporting performers. They also tended to attract the era's brightest and most successful writers of the era. And even more germaine to the networks over which the above stars aired their talents, these stars almost without exception attracted a continuous stream of successful, well-heeled sponsors. Most of the above stars and teams not only attracted such sponsors but in many cases had any number of such sponsors competing for those sponsorships at the same time.

Another indicator of the success of the above listed artists and teams was their respective trajectories throughout the Golden Ages of Radio and Television. Again, with even fewer exceptions, the above listed stars entered Radio with almost instaneous impact and their respective Radio careers only accelerated from that point forward.

Radio's early Tobacco sponsors

From the very inception of locally and regionally broad-cast Radio the tobacco companies of the era were among the more prominent early sponsors of local, regional and eventually nationally broadcast Radio. General Cigar Company promoted its White Owl, Robert Burns Panatela, Wm. Penn, and Van Dyck cigar brands over Radio. Other major cigar and cigarette pushers flourished during the era. American Cigar and its Cremo brand brought Al Jolson and Bing Crosby to Radio as the 'Cremo Singer.'

From Vaudeville to Radio: 'Nat' Birnbaum and Grace Allen

One of the more unlikely duos to achieve Entertainment World super-stardom, Jewish-born Nat Birnbaum [Stage name George Burns] and Irish Catholic-born Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen grew up worlds apart in myriad ways. Nat from New York and Grace from San Francisco found each other in New Jersey, Birnbaum performing a vaudeville act with then partner Billy Lorraine. Grace reportedly approached Birnbaum after his 'Burns and Lorraine' act about working in vaudeville and 'George Burns' offered her a suggestion that she work with him. That was 1922. The act became a couple, and the couple married four years after meeting. Continuing to slug it out in vaudeville for another five years, Burns & Allen soon caught the attention of the Film Industry and its search for comedy teams for its growing production of 'talkie' shorts of the era. Burns and Allen were featured in several Vitaphone Shorts of the era, eventually leading them into featured guest appearances over network Radio. As the guest appearances grew, Burns and Allen's novel 'dumb Dora' act acquired exponentially more fans.

Grace reportedly first appeared on the San Francisco vaudeville stage at the age of six. Her older sister, already a stage performer, reportedly goaded little Grace onto the stage for a singing solo. Gracie had been bragging that she could sing far better than her older sister. But once on the stage, little Gracie began bawling uncontrollably. Her sister prompted her from the wings to launch into an Irish jig. Little Gracie reportedly performed the traditional Irish dance to applause, but continued bawling nonetheless.

With several guest appearances over Radio already under their belts, Burns and Allen's ever-increasing popularity caught the attention of General Cigar and CBS. Popular singer and organist 'Little Jack' Little found his own featured morning show after appearing with Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians on the Robert Burns Panatela Program near the end of its 2nd season on Radio. With the departure of Little Jack Little, General Cigar Company offered George Burns and Gracie Allen a feature role in the 3rd Season of the Robert Burns Panatela Program. First appearing during the February 15th 1932 episode of Robert Burns Panatela Program, the comedy team began three years of Radio appearances sponsored by General Cigar:

1932 The 3rd Season of the Robert Burns Panatela Program
1933 A full season of The White Owl Program as lead performers
1934 A full season of The Adventures of Gracie for General Cigar's 'White Owl' brand

From the December 12th 1933 edition of the Oakland Tribune:

Curtain Calls

By Wood Soanes

ALL this furor over mixed drinks, a publicity scheme concocted by the gentleman who thinks up newspaper didoes for Monterey's swank hotel and for which the celebrities accepted their need for advertising as amateur bartenders, has stirred up George Burns' Gracie Allen.

To the Paramount press department Burns' Allen confided her recipe. In fact, as the story comes, she did more than confide it; she demanded that it be broadcast, and since the Yuletide gives me a kindly feeling for all, including even actors and press agents, I lend a hand in the project.

Here then, is the Gracie Allen Cocktail:

"First you take two lemons and squeeze them into a salad bowl.

"Then you take two oranges and squeeze them into another salad bowl.

"Then you put a cup of gin with the lemons and a cup of bitters with the oranges. Stir separately with an egg beater and add two drops of mayonnaise.

"Then you put them together, sprinkle a little cheese over the top, and bake in a slow oven until nice and brown. While baking, draw a glass of water for a chaser. When the cocktail is done, throw it away, for by that time you will have drunk the chaser and you won't be thirsty any more."

And at that it sounds as palatable as some of the concoctions offered in the national cocktail contest.

And this, from the June 10th 1934 edition of the Oakland Tribune:

George and Gracie Contrive to
Keep Feet on Firm Ground While
Buffeted by Wave of Popularity

Burns and Allen of Pictures and Radio Admit
They Did Not Begin to Make Real Money Till
Too Late for Them to Lose It in Stock Boom

By WOOD SOANES

FORTUNATELY George Burns is a man from whom the petty annoyances of life slide as handily as water from the torso of the traditional duck, else this interview might have ended before it began.

It was on the set of "Many Happy Returns," and Burns was not in the action. At the invitation of Virginia Wood of the Paramount publicity department he crossed the set leaving Gracie Allen immersed in a dancing sequence, to pass the time of day.

Now if there is anything that is certain to infuriate men, particularly those high in the lists of the "knowns," it is to be mis-addressed. In a moment of mental debility, I promptly greeted him as "Mr. Allen," and it looked for a moment as if Miss Wood would die of chagrin.

"That's all right," interposed Burns. "You should have heard what I was called in vaudeville. As long as they get Burns and Allen on the check, it's immaterial to me whether Gracie's Mrs. Allen or Mr. Burns or I'm Miss Burns or Mrs. Allen."

It was a pretty speech on the face of it, but Burns actually meant it, as further acquaintance disclosed. He is a young man who has his feet very firmly planted on the soil. In the money in a big way, he can look back only a few years to a time when he was distinctly not that way.

"But you can rest assured," he assured me, "that when Burns goes to the poorhouse, Uncle Sam will have the next bed."

"Meaning exactly what?" I asked.

"Meaning that the rest of the boys can put their money into wildcat schemes and shiny limousines and all the rest of the fol-de-rol, but Burns and Allen sink their's in gilt edged government bonds. Stocks can rise and fall with real estate can slide down an earthquake crack, banks can close, but as long as the Government hold out, I'm safe, and if it doesn't, the money wouldn't do me any good."

Such sanity didn't seem just right, especially from the male half of a team that makes its money by being giddy. I was curious to know where the comedian left off and the economist began.

"It didn't require a great deal of thinking," Burns responded. "You see when everybody else was making bushels of money, Gracie and I were just getting by. We didn't get into the real dough until everyone else was broke. The stock market had crashed, the banks were closed, the country had gone to the dogs, and we suddenly came into demand."

"Before that we had worked like Turks and just made a living. Vaudeville was falling apart under our feet when the radio came like a Godsend and it just so happened that our brand of nonsense was what the ether people felt they couldn't get along without. As soon as we clicked there, the other gates began to open."

"All this time, I should explain, I had a brother who was making money hand over fist, and bragging about it constantly. He dabbled in more sure things than you could shake a stick at and always came out on top. Every time he turned another corner he howled for me to get on the band-wagon. And every time I backed away."

DEFINITE SYSTEM

"I may not have much brains but I know that there was no game devised in which everybody could win. No matter where we played or where we went people were making money--the bootblacks were buying bank stock; the chambermaids were reading the ticket tape, even the barbers were expanding, and actors were incorporating themselves."

"Now I'm smart enough to know that this wasn't on the up and up. I didn't know what would happen, but I felt certain that as soon as I began to dive into the rough to get mine, that I'd hit my head on a concrete bottom. So I sat tight. Now my brother still smokes cigars, but they're not the big black ones he used to afford., they're little brown ones and I buy them for him."

By this time Miss Allen had finished her scene and came over to join the party. An attractive young woman, she lets friend husband do the talking in an interview. There is a rumor in Hollywood that Burns keeps the conversation going his way so that visitors won't realize that his wife is really not a nit-wit, as she indicates in the act, but a shrewd little person.

It doesn't require much contact with the pair to realize that they have a definite system in life. On the stage, screen and radio they are happy-go-lucky clowns. In private life, they seek to maintain this same pose, convinced that what the public doesn't know won't annoy them. They work hard, they plan their careers carefully, and they enjoy life.

"Radio people should keep out of the limelight and dispense with their studio audiences," Burns was saying. "On the stage, I wouldn't dream of inviting the audience up on the stage with me; yet on the radio actors are expected to work with every Tom, Dick and Harry in their laps. The result is that they play to this handful and forget about the real listeners."

"We plan all of our radio sketches for an intimate audience and we never lose sight of that idea. That's why it's difficulty for people to imitate us. The material is hard to appropriate. That's a problem on the air, too, and I don't know how it can be solved. You hear a lot of stuff about one comedian stealing another's jokes. Usually it's unintentional."

MATERIAL REARRANGED

"All of us buy material from writers who guarantee that it is original. Few of us have a chance to listen to the other fellow. But the writers have no such limitations. Cantor buys a joke in good faith, only to learn after he's used it that Jolson used the same gag the night before. All well and good to say 'Get a new writer,' but that's easier said than done. And they all have alibis."

I wanted to know what form of entertainment they enjoyed most.

"That's hard to say," Burns answered. "Of course vaudeville is gone, for the time being at all events, but we certainly had a swell time playing to vaudeville audiences. The radio gives you the biggest audience, and that's a satisfaction, and the movies provides the richest return and the greatest ease."

"But we really don't take a great deal of ease. Both Gracie and I really enjoy the work and we keep at it pretty steadily. We've broadcast our programs twice a week ever since we've been in Hollywood, and we prepare all of them. I buy material, of course, but I rearrange it to suit our style. I do that in pictures, too. It's much more satisfactory."

"That way we can go over our own routines privately and get them properly timed. It saves trouble for the director and time for all of us. It isn't that I'm so much smarter than the writers, but I know what audiences expect from us and how to deliver it. You can play in nearly a hundred vaudeville acts without learning something."

Both Burns and Miss Allen have virtually grown up in show business. They were on the stage as children--Gracie at 3 and George at 12. She began as a singer and then did a sister act. When Charlie Reilly, who was once at the Columbia here in Oakland, organized his own vaudeville act, Miss Allen joined him. She quit when he refused to give her billing.

DIVIDED ON HOBBIES

She once studied shorthand, and still practices it as a hobby. Another hobby is matching pennies, and still another is fishing. But when the occupation is piscatorial, the team of Burns and Allen splits. He won't fish and he won't carry a cane. But he will play golf at the drop of a hat, and Miss Allen thinks golf is just a little silly, the weak spot in George's armor, but she plays with him.

"We started as a team doing a song and dance act," Burns was saying, "and more or less by accident, decided to use a little patter. I was to tell the jokes and Gracie ask the questions. But as soon as we saw that audiences were laughing more at the questions than the answers we promptly shifted sides."

"We worked together in vaudeville for about four years before we were married. Hollywood spoil it? No, if anything ever goes sour, Hollywood won't be at fault. That's a lot of poppycock. All this stuff about 'going Hollywood' amuses me. It's simply a case of swelled head most of the time. The folks who've had to earn what they made have no delusions about themselves."

"We've been down here quite some time now, an we're just the same as ever--of course Gracie does ride a bicycle now, but you can't expect perfection, can you?"

Earl Carroll had told me the day previous that he had hopes of getting Burns and Allen for his next show but they were no so optimistic. They'd like the chance, but Paramount has extensive plans, and they had just signed a new radio contract, and furthermore, they wanted to go to Europe on a vacation and, maybe do a music hall date or two.

Busy people, Mr. and Mrs. Burns, and very well satisfied with life--and government bonds!

The Oakland Tribune also offered a persuasive account of the origin of Burns and Allen's break into Radio in its article from October 6th 1935:

SCREEN & RADIO WEEKLY

THE RADIO REPORTER

     HAVE YOU ever wondered how the radio stars became radio stars?  Where did they get their first break?  Who discovered them? It makes pretty interesting ether wave history and proves the contention that nine times out of ten it was just a matter of pure luck.
     If Ted Collins, an executive with a phonograph recording company, had not missed a Long Island commuters' tram back in 1931 one wintry night, Kate Smith's bulky frame might never have wrapped itself around a friendly microphone.
     Instead of waiting several hours for a later train, Collins decided to see George White's new musical comedy, "Flying High." In this show was a very stout young lady named Kate Smith who sang and danced her way into the high favor of the audience and the aforementioned Mr. Ted Collins. The latter decided to miss the next train and the one after that so that he could go backstage and meet this vocal heavyweight
     Collins was the first influential person who had ever taken an interest in the girl and she immediately asked him to be her manager. They never signed a contract. The first thing Collins decided was that the girl should make several phonograph recordings.
     A short lime later Kate scored a hit on Rudy Vallee's NBC Variety show, and since then she has been scoring heavily over CBS to the tune of much dough-re-me.
     Exactly a year later, a vaudeville bill at New York's once-famed Palace Theater starred Eddie Cantor, George Jessel and a show-stopping act called Burns and Allen. The banjo-eyed comedian thought Gracie was even funnier than his funniest joke—a rare tribute among laugh-makers. He invited the pair to be his first guest performers on his then Sunday night coffee show. George Burns didn't think it would be good business to vie for laughs on the air with Cantor, his idea of the funniest guy in the world. But Gracie, proving the old adage, "Fools rush in" disagreed. That Sunday Cantor acted the role of "straight man" for his new protegee. Gracie evoked many loud guffaws from the studio audience which included husband George. Letters from listeners poured in. So did offers from sponsors. In February Burns and Allen were signed by a cigar company for three weekly broadcasts. Everybody liked them—they liked everybody. They remained three-and-a-half years with an increased stipend every six months. The rest is history.

George Burns and Gracie Allen's three seasons over CBS for General Cigar began a Burns & Allen franchise over Radio, in Film and on Television spanning twenty-six years. Burns & Allen's Radio programs spanned eighteen of those years:

1932 The Robert Burns Panatela Program
1933 The White Owl Program
1934 The Adventures of Gracie
1935 Cambell's Tomato Juice Presents Burns and Allen
1936 Campbell's Soup Presents George Burns and Gracie Allen
1937 George Burns and Gracie Allen [for Grape Nuts]
1938 Chesterfield Time with George Burns and Gracie Allen
1940 The Hinds Honey and Almond Cream Program
1940 The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show [for Hormel and Spam]
1941 Well I Swan [for Swan Soap Flakes and Detergent]
1945 Maxwell House Coffee Time
1949 The Amm-i-dent Show

Needless to say, as George Burns and Gracie Allen's fame and popularity continued to rise there were no end of sponsors willing to promote their goods with Burns & Allen as their headliners.

From the May 29th 1934 edition of the Montana Standard:

A NEW YORKER
AT LARGE

By MARK BARRON

     NEW YORK—A vaudeville joke once had the longevity of a turtle. Today there must be a whole grab gag of them to supply continually fresh ones. George Burns was philosophizing on the new era in gags. It seems there is one—decidedly.
     "It used to be a vaudeville act-went on for years without a change," he said. "Why, an actor was afraid to change a line—even a word. He entered on the same beat of music, slapped his partner on the same spot every time.
     "Yeah," he insisted. "You got to be a machine."
     What with slow transportation and no talkies, an act didn't come back to the name theater for years. There was no radio, and a gag almost never got stale.
     That's history now, said Burns. He recalled the first time he and Gracie Allen changed their act.
     "We'd been putting on the same thing four and a half years. We played a week at the Palace in New York. They told us if we'd change our act we could play another week. Change our act? Why—we were afraid to change our shirts!
     "But George Jessel came around. "Didn't you do some movie shorts?" he asked me. Sure.. So I showed him our script for the shorts, he took out a bunch of the gags, tied them together and there was a new act. After that it wasn't so hard."
     Today you have to change gags like you change socks—maybe oftener. And it's giving headaches to actors and a lot of pin money to gag-writers.
     But George, himself, writes the gags about Gracie's brother and Gracie's father that have put Burns and Allen on top.
     "I don't like jokes," he insisted." Gags are better."
     He has a recipe of his own for writing them, and it involves a little reverse English on ordinary incidents.
     "I get a lot of ideas from mechanics' magazines," he said. "I look at the pictures. There's a man shaving. 'Gracie's father puts on the lather after he shaves,' I say, Why? Why would anybody do that? So I have to figure that out. 'Well,' I say, 'he puts the lather on after he shaves to cover up the places he cut himself when he shaved.' That's a gag.
     "Then I see a picture of these things you put on roofs—you know—shingles. Well, Gracie's father's house burned down before he could get it shingled. Why? There's a tough one. It burned down because it wasn't raining and Gracie's father couldn't tell where the roof leaked, so he started a fire inside to see where the smoke came out."
     George paused, looked across the room at Gracie, smiled proudly.
     "Gracie's screwey," he said. "I mean people think she is. She isn't really. She's very smart. But she puts it over so well—why she gets a letter once a month from a woman out in Iowa. The woman never writes me; she doesn't like me. But she tells Gracie, if I don't treat her better, Gracie can come out and live with her."
     Any comedy team that has an idea it knows what "put it over," said George, is fooling. Nobody really knows.

The articles above are fairly representative of the literally hundreds of articles about George Burns and Gracie Allen from the newspapers of the era, especially those between 1931 and 1935. The growing number of their Film appearances, combined with their exponentially increasing popularity over Radio kept Burns and Allen in the Press notices of the era on an almost weekly basis.

From the February 10th 1935 edition of the Oakland Tribune:

They Never Get a Vacation

By Whitney Williams

                THE most overworked couple in these United States of ours sat on opposite sides of their beautifully furnished suite at the Chateau Elysee.
     "George," quoth Gracie, "I just received a letter from my brother."
     "You mean the half-wit?" asked George.
     "No," replied Gracie, in all seriousness, "the other one."
     Believe it or not, gentle readers, those words that you have heard hundreds of times on the radio actually passed between these two funsters, who, in the event you haven't already guessed, have panicked vaudeville, radio and screen audiences for years under the name of Burns and Allen.
     As Gracie—she's Gracie to all the world—uttered that concluding phrase, she suddenly realized where she was and what she had said and grinned delightedly, waving her letter. George, from his corner, guffawed loud and vociferously.
     "That's one on Gracie," he commented. "She's so accustomed to the act on the radio that she unconsciously repeats herself whenever she says anything about her brother. I always get a kick out of seeing if I can trip her up, and now she's fallen, hook, line and sinker."
     "I really have a brother, you know, explained Gracie, "but at times he absolutely threatens to disown me. Right now, he's considering changing his name."
     "Gracie's brother is the only one in their family who never went on the stage," took up George. "He's a quiet chap who works for an oil company in San Francisco, and while he doesn't mind in the least our referring to him in our act, at times our clowning becomes rather irksome to him."
     "Yes," continued the other half of this amazingly-talented couple, "every time my brother goes out and is introduced as Gracie Allen's brother, he's expected to he funny, or at least a bit insane. That's why he's thinking of taking another name."
               TO HAVE looked into this peaceful and perfectly normal scene, you scarcely would have believed that these two calm and collected people were the mad and famous Burns and Allen whose very presence on the ether or on the screen invariably evoked screams of appreciation from a waiting audience.
     They were in repose, at rest far from the throngs who acclaim them upon the slightest provocation. Gracie moved about the room in black silk pajamas, while George lounged in a red-hued dressing gown, slippers encasing the feet that once earned their owner a handsome living as a dancer. Gracie's voice had not the same high-pitched quality you hear when she entertains; instead, it was beautifully modulated.
     The day I chatted with them they were newly returned to Hollywood, from a thirteen-week journey to Europe. Their first vacation, in nearly three years.
     "We never have a vacation, though," the masculine member of this famed team announced. "Even in Europe we were called upon constantly to entertain. But it was great."
     "We were recognized every place we went," chimed in Gracie. A faraway look appeared in her eyes. "It was grand to be made to feel that people know you, so far from home."
     "Before we left, the Columbia Broadcasting Co. asked us to do broadcasts from Rome, Budapest and Moscow," recited George. "We were anxious to get away, though, from all work, so we turned down the proposition. Had we consented to broadcast from those three cities, we would have spent most of our time preparing the programs, and that wouldn't exactly have been a vacation."
     "We did do one broadcast, though," his wife continued. "From London. And did a week at the Paladium. But those were our only professional engagements all the time we were away."
     "But you should have seen us in Paris, Rome, Budapest, Vienna, Warsaw, Moscow, Amsterdam and London," George went on. "We couldn't even go outside our hotel without being stopped on the street or in restaurants or the theaters for autographs. And did we mind? We did not."
               "WHILE we were in St. Peter's, in Rome," broke in Gracie, "a little boy came up to me. 'Have you found your brother yet?' he wanted to know—and asked that I autograph his guide book."
     "That was funny," grinned George. "When he should have been listening to the guide and admiring the beauties of the cathedral, he was more interested in finding out about Gracie's brother."
     "Everywhere we went, people would ask me if I had found my brother or my little blue hat," Gracie chattered.
     "Going over, on the boat, a lady from the second class cabin came up to us and asked if we would go below and meet a party of 300 persons on their way to the Holy Land," George cut in. "They were from the South and you could have cut their accents with a knife.
     "When we met them, a number asked Gracie in one voice, 'Have you found your brother?' Those seemed to be magic words. We spent several hours with these people and had the time of our lives entertaining for them."
     "One day, in Budapest, we passed some time on St. Catherine's Island, in the Danube," said Gracie. "We were walking along and I was talking to George, when suddenly I heard a lady in back of me say, 'That sounds exactly like Gracie Allen.'
     "I turned around and almost shrieked, 'I am Gracie Allen.' The lady was from Kansas City and it was the surprise of her life, she said. We exchanged cards and I signed an envelope for her."
               GEORGE took up the conversation. "When we arrived in Moscow a party of 400 American tourists heard we were in town. All theaters were closed for the season, and the Government asked if we would entertain them.
     "We got together an act and put it on for the travelers. And maybe you don't think we were applauded! I have never heard a packed theater in this country greet an actor as lustily as did those American tourists when we finished our act. It was mighty gratifying. And every last one of them, the entire 400, had to have our autograph. Both of us suffered with writer's cramp for several days.
     "In London an amusing thing happened on our first night at the Paladium. This is London's finest variety house and corresponds to the Palace in New York in its balmiest days.
     "After our regular act, when the curtain came down, we went out before the drop and I announced, 'Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to entertain you further but we're not prepared.'
     "It was then Gracie's cue to pull at my sleeve and say, 'George, I am.'
     " 'Quiet, Gracie,' I told her, and was about to finish when a tall, dignified Englishman in tails, in the front row, arose and said, 'I say, let the little girl continue.' That just about broke up the show.
     "Europe kept us pretty busy, entertaining impromptu wherever we went, but the other side is as nothing compared to this country. That is why I say we never have a vacation.
     "Regardless of where we are or where we go, we're called upon to do an act. We can hardly call our lives our own, and 24 hours a day we're supposed to be able to say something funny, something witty, to top ourselves.
     "There's no telling when we'll be able to take another trip for pleasure. After we finish three pictures for Paramount, we're going out on the road for several months and then on to Broadway. And we have 60 programs to do on the radio, one every week for more than a year. That alone keeps us pretty busy."
               A TINY wail interrupted the speaker. Both Gracie and George made a dive for the screen door, opening out onto the large open-air porch six stories above the ground. They hovered above an elaborate baby carriage, wherein lay a tiny mite of humanity, all pink and white and solemn-faced.     "On our way West, we adopted a baby," Gracie confided, proudly. "Isn't she beautiful?"     "She's our toughest audience," George stated, at the same time making a combination of weird noises and funny faces. "We can make the rest of the world laugh, but never a chuckle does she peep.
     "We won't have a vacation now for a long time," he beamed.

Series Derivatives:

The White Owl Program; The Adventures of Gracie

Genre:

Anthology of Golden Age Radio Variety

Network(s):

CBS

Audition Date(s) and Title(s):

Unknown

Premiere Date(s) and Title(s):

The Robert Burns Panatela Program
32-02-15 04 First Regular Appearance of Burns and Allen

The White Owl Program
33-05-31 01 From the World's Fair

The Adventures of Gracie

Run Dates(s)/ Time(s):

The Robert Burns Panatela Program
32-02-15 to 33-05-24; CBS [WABC]; Sixty-eight, 30-minute Burns and Allen featured programs; Monday, Tuesday, then Wednesday evenings

The White Owl Program
33-05-31 to 34-06-13; CBS [WABC]; Fifty-five, 30-minute programs; Wednesday evenings

The Adventures of Gracie

Syndication:

The Columbia System

Sponsors:

General Cigar Company [Robert Burns Panatelas, White Owl Cigars]

Director(s):

Principal Performers:

Guy Lombardo, Carmen Lombardo, Little Jack Little, Phil Regan, George Burns, Gracie Allen, Lebert Lombardo, The Buccaneers Quartet, Ferde Grofé

Recurring Character(s):

Protagonist(s):

None

Author(s):

None

Writer(s)

George Burns, Willie Burns

Music Direction:

Guy Lombardo and the Royal Canadiens [Canadians]
Bobby Dolan and the White Owl Orchestra
Ferde Grofé and orchestra

Musical Theme(s):

"Comin' Through the Rye"
"Dancing In the Dark"

Announcer(s):

William Breton

Estimated Scripts or
Broadcasts:

The Robert Burns Panatela Program: 68

The White Owl Program: 55

The Adventures of Gracie: 54

Episodes in Circulation:

The Robert Burns Panatela Program: 0

The White Owl Program: 0

The Adventures of Gracie: 1

Total Episodes in Collection:

The Robert Burns Panatela Program: 0

The White Owl Program: 0

The Adventures of Gracie: 1

Provenances:

RadioGOLDINdex, Hickerson Guide.

Notes on Provenances:

The most helpful provenances were the log of the RadioGOLDINdex and newspaper listings.

Digital Deli Too RadioLogIc

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The Burns and Allen Radio Programs Log \| Part One
Date	Episode	Title	Avail.	Notes
32-01-04	--	Title Unknown	N	32-01-04 New York Times 10:00--Guy Lombardo's Orchestra--WABC.
32-01-11	--	Title Unknown	N	32-01-11 New York Times 10:00--Guy Lombardo's Orchestra--WABC.
32-01-18	--	Second Anniversary Program	N	32-01-17 Syracuse Herald-Journal Lombardo Will Play Songs He Introduced On 2d Anniversary Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians will mark the completion of the second year of broadcasting over the Columbia network Monday at 10:00 P.. M.. with a special program consisting principally of tunes which they have introduced and popularized. Guy, whose popularity was exemplified in a recent nation-wide radio editors' poll in which he was accorded first place among dance bands, introduced many new songs over the radio during his two years with CBS. In almost, every case these fresh times subsequently became hits, attesting to his ability in selecting potential best sellers. On his second anniversary program Monday night, Guy will present many of these song successes, including "Whistling in the Dark," "Out of Nowhere" and "Little Girl," written toy Francis Henry, Guy's guitar player. Another highlight will be "Faded Summer Love." 32-01-18 New York Times 10:00--Guy Lombardo's Orchestra--WABC.

32-01-25	1	Title Unknown	N	[Robt. Burns Panatela Program begins its 3rd Season] 32-01-25 New York Times 10:00--Guy Lombardo's Orchestra--WABC.
32-02-01	2	Title Unknown	N	32-02-01 New York Times 10:00--Guy Lombardo's Orchestra--WABC. 32-02-01 San Antonio Express New tunes will mingle with old during the broadcast of Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians on the Robert Burns program over KTSA and Columbia at 9 p. m. Among the numbers which will be recalled by the orchestra are "Am I Blue," Giannina Mia," and "Weddinc of the Painted Doll," while the newer melodies Include 'This Is the Missus," from the Current Scandals. "Was That the Human Thing To Do." and "Goodnight Moon." Carmen Lombardo will be heard in the vocal choruses.
32-02-08	3	Title Unknown	N	32-02-08 Lowell Sun WABC-CBS -- 10.00—Guy Lombardo's Program

32-02-15	4	Title Unknown	N	[George Burns and Gracie Allen join the Robert Burns Panatela program as featured performers] 32-02-15 New York Times 10:00--Lombardo Orchestra--WABC 32-02-15 Lowell Sun WNAC-Boston--10.00 p m — Robert Burns Panatela program; Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians
32-02-22	5	Title Unknown	N	32-02-22 New York Times 10:00--Lombardo Orchestra: Burns and Allen, comedians--WABC. 32-02-22 Joplin News Herald Burns and Allen are to continue with Guy Lombardo's orchestra on WABC-CBS Monday nights
32-02-29	6	Title Unknown	N	32-02-29 New York Times 10:00--Lombardo Orchestra: Burns and Allen. Comedy--WABC 32-02-29 San Antonio Express George Burns and Grace Allen, stage and screen comedy team, will continue to augment the entertainment of the Robert Burns Panatela program with Guy Lombardo's Royal Canadians over KTSA and Columbia at 9 p. m. This popular team, who have been finding increasing success in talkie shorts, vaudeville and musical comedy, made their debut on the Burns program on Feb. 15, so successfully that arrangements were made to present Burns and Allen as a weekly feature. In addition, the Lombardo crew will provide new and old tunes with brother Carmen featured In the vocal choruses.
32-03-07	7	Title Unknown	N	32-03-07 New York Times 10:00--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-03-14	8	Title Unknown	N	32-03-14 Lima News 10—Guy Lombardo and Burns and Allen;
32-03-21	9	Title Unknown	N	32-03-07 Syracuse Herald WEAF-NBC--10 00, Guy Lombardo nnd Burns and Allen,
32-03-28	10	Title Unknown	N	32-03-28 Oshkosh Daily Freeman Burns and Allen, a comedy team, will assist Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians in brightening a half hour beginning at 9 p. m. Their music and fun will be carried by Columbia stations WBEM, WCCO. KMOX and WXYZ. "Love, You Funny Thing" and "I Got a Date With An Angel" will be among the selections.
32-04-04	11	Title Unknown	N	32-04-04 New York Times 10:00--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-04-11	12	Title Unknown	N	32-03-28 Lowell Sun 10.00 p m—Robert Burns program: Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians; George Burns and Gracie Allen, comedy team.
32-04-18	13	Title Unknown	N	32-04-18 New York Times 10:00--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-04-25	14	Title Unknown	N	32-04-25 New York Times 10:00--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-05-02	15	Title Unknown	N	32-05-02 New York Times 10:00--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-05-09	16	Title Unknown	N	32-05-09 New York Times 10:00--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-05-16	17	Title Unknown	N	32-05-16 New York Times 10:00--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-05-23	18	Title Unknown	N	32-05-23 Appleton Post-Crescent At 8 P.M. Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians, aided by Burns and Allen, a comedy team, will Broadcast over WXYZ, WBBM, WCCO and KMOX—Columbia
32-05-25	19	Title Unknown	N	[Robert Burns Panatela Program moves to Tuesdays] 32-05-25 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-06-01	20	Title Unknown	N	32-06-01 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo's Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-06-08	21	Title Unknown	N	32-06-08 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-06-15	22	Title Unknown	N	32-06-15 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-06-22	23	Title Unknown	N	32-06-22 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-06-29	24	Title Unknown	N	32-06-29 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-07-06	25	Title Unknown	N	32-07-06 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-07-13	26	Title Unknown	N	32-07-13 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-07-20	27	Title Unknown	N	32-07-20 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-07-27	28	Title Unknown	N	32-07-27 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-08-03	29	Title Unknown	N	32-08-03 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-08-10	30	Title Unknown	N	32-08-10 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-08-17	31	Title Unknown	N	32-08-17 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-08-24	32	Title Unknown	N	32-08-24 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-08-31	33	Title Unknown	N	32-08-31 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-09-07	34	Title Unknown	N	32-09-07 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-09-14	35	Title Unknown	N	32-09-14 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-09-21	36	Title Unknown	N	32-09-21 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-09-28	37	Title Unknown	N	32-09-28 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-10-05	38	Title Unknown	N	32-10-05 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-10-12	39	Title Unknown	N	32-10-12 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-10-19	40	Title Unknown	N	32-10-19 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy; Phil Regan, Tenor
32-10-26	41	Title Unknown	N	32-10-26 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-11-02	42	Title Unknown	N	32-11-02 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-11-09	43	Title Unknown	N	32-11-09 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-11-16	44	Title Unknown	N	32-11-16 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-11-23	45	Title Unknown	N	32-11-23 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-11-30	46	Title Unknown	N	32-11-30 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-12-06	47	Title Unknown	N	32-12-06 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-12-13	48	Title Unknown	N	32-12-13 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-12-20	49	Title Unknown	N	32-12-20 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
32-12-27	50	Title Unknown	N	32-12-27 New York Times 9:00--Lombardo Orch.: Burns and Allen, Comedy
33-01-04	51	The Gracie Allen Missing Brother Mystery	N	33-01-01 Wisconsin State Journal Lombardo, Burns and Allen Will Shift Time This Week A program featuring Guy Lombardo's Royal Canadians Orchestra and George Burns and Gracie Allen has renewed its contract with the Columbia Broadcasting system and with the same artists for an additional year. This feature, now heard on Wednesdays at 8 p. m., will be broadcast instead at 8:30 the same night, beginning Jan. 4. 33-01-04 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen Comedy; Phil Regan, Tenor 33-01-07 Lowell Sun In keeping with their type of humor, Burns and Allen have suddenly confronted themselves with the idea that Gracie's brother is "missing." They plan to make the most of this situation by searching the airlanes for the departed. While Gracie actually has a brother, this one is a creation of her own. 33-01-09 Mansfield News Studio snapshots of Burns and Allen and Guy Lombardo as the great Gracie Allen Missing Brother Mystery unfolds! ' The scholarly Burns, biting his nails and looking like a good-natured theological student trying to discover signs of intelligence in an effervescent chorus girl. . . . Gracie talking, talking, talking . . . . and how that gal can talk . . . . with a small Paisley shawl throw over a bright seagreen dress. . . . and the stern-visaged Lombardo searchhing through his orchestra for Gracie's brother but only a saxaphone player is missing.
33-01-11	52	Title Unknown	N	33-01-11 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen Comedy; Phil Regan, Tenor

33-01-18	53	Title Unknown	N	[Robt. Burns Panatela Program begins its 3rd Season] 33-01-18 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen Comedy; Phil Regan, Tenor 33-01-22 Portsmouth Times Gracie Allen's chatter is detected all across the dial these days as the loquacious search for her mythical brother continues. While the madcap Gracie and her partner George Burns are under contract with a definite sponsor for exclusive performance on the WABC chain, her wisecracks intermittently interrupt programs presented over the WEAF-WJZ networks. She has bobbed up on the Eddie Cantor, RUdy Vallee, Jack Benney, Guy Lombardo, and the "Mystery In Paris" broadcasts. It began about two weeks ago when the sponsors on the lookout for a new exploitation idea, discovered that her "brother" had become lost, and the search for the elusive "Mr. Allen" began. The idea dates back to the variety halls when an actor was accustomed to stroll through the various sets after his own performance, exchanging banter with other entertainers. Letter indicate listeners like the idea. They believe Gracie has struck a new mote3 of informality in routine broadcasting.
33-01-25	54	Title Unknown	N	33-01-25 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen Comedy; Phil Regan, Tenor
33-02-01	55	Title Unknown	N	33-02-01 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen Comedy; Phil Regan, Tenor
33-02-08	56	Title Unknown	N	33-02-08 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen Comedy; Phil Regan, Tenor 33-02-08 Coshocton Tribune Few vaudeville combinations have had such astonishing success as Burns and Allen. Miss Allen and Burns met while playing a split week m Jersey, fell In love—and married. They became headliners m vaudeville and big movie houses then went to even greater success on the radio. She, a San Francisco girl, is the gloriously baffled dumbbell and he. an East Side boy, is the accomplished feeder.
33-02-15	57	Title Unknown	N	33-02-13 Galveston Daily News LOMBARDO TO PLAY NEW NUMBERS FOR PROGRAM While Guy Lombardo's Royal Canadians contribute their melodies from the WABC studios in New York City, the two dumb crackers, George Burns and Gracie Allen, will be heard from Hollywood over the WABC - Columbia network Wednesday at 8:30 p. m. Lombardo will feature the new tune, "Forty-Second Street," from the picture of that title; a medley from "Show Boat," and "The Moon Song" from Kate Smith's film which be sung by Carmen Lormbardo. 33-02-15 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen Comedy; Phil Regan, Tenor
33-02-22	58	Title Unknown	N	33-02-22 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen Comedy
33-03-01	59	Title Unknown	N	33-03-01 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen Comedy; Phil Regan, Tenor
33-03-08	60	Title Unknown	N	33-03-08 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy; Phil Regan, Tenor
33-03-15	61	Title Unknown	N	33-03-15 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
33-03-22	62	Title Unknown	N	33-03-19 Galveston Daily News LOMBARDO TO PLAY NEW SONG HIT ON WEDNESDAY Although more than 3,000 miles still separate them, Guy Lombardo's Royal Canadians, playing in the New York studios, and Burns and Allen, dumbcracking at Hollywood, will merge talents over the WABC-Columbia network Wednesday at 8:30 p. m. Lombardo will open the program with "Two Buck Tim From Tinibuctoo," which he first introduced some weeks ago. Other melodies on the broadcast include "You'll Never Get to Heaven," "Strike Me Pink" and "Farewell to Arms."
33-03-29	63	Title Unknown	N	33-03-29 San Antonio Light George Burns and Gracie Allen, still picture making on the West coast, will be overheard in their weekly converstalon on the program with Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians, Wednesday night. Lombardo's lads will offer: "Going, Going Gone," "You're Beautiul Tonight," "Old Man ol the Mountain' and "Street of Dreams." —KTSA at 8:30 o'clock.
33-04-05	64	Title Unknown	N	33-04-05 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo's Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
33-04-12	65	Title Unknown	N	33-04-12 Sandusky Register George Burns and Gracie Allen, radio comedians, wrote their own dialogue for the Paramount pictures in which they are working—"International House," and "College Humor".
33-04-19	66	Title Unknown	N	33-04-19 Portsmouth Times Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians will play their Robert Burns program on the net work from the studios of WJAS tonight. The band is in Pittsburgh for the Anatole Easter ball at the Grotto in East Montgomery avenue, Northside, and will go from the studios to the dance hall. Burns and Allen will go on from California, and the announcer, William Breton, will speak from New York.
33-04-26	67	Title Unknown	N	33-04-26 San Antonio Light Guy Lombardo and his suave melody makers, now at Atlanta. Ga., and Burns and Allen, still at work in Hollywood, will get together on the CBS network for another half-hour party, Wednesday evening. Lombardo, this evening, will feature two Isham Jones song hits, "Why Can't This Night Go On Forever" and "You've Got Me Crying Again." Jones is a fellow orchestra leader—KTSA at 8:30 p. m. 33-05-01 San Mateo Times George Burns and Gracie Allen, the-radio pair now headed for New York, will make some Paramount shorts there before they go to England.
33-05-03	68	Title Unknown	N	33-04-30 San Antonio Express Burns and Allen have finished their work in Hollywood and ought to be in Manhattan by now. 33-05-03 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
33-05-10	69	Title Unknown	N	33-05-10 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
33-05-17	70	Title Unknown	N	33-05-17 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
33-05-24	71	Title Unknown	N	33-05-24 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy

33-05-31	1	From the World's Fair	N	[Burns and Allen begin headlining their own The White Owl Program] 33-05-31 Mansfield News-Journal The first big broadcast from the World's fair radio studio will take place tonight at 8:30 when George Burns and Gracie Allen inaugurate their new series with Guy Lombardo's Canadians. Tune in to CKLW or WHK. 33-05-31 Lowell Sun 9.30 pm--Whlte Owl presents Guy Lombardo and the Royal Canadians, with Burns and Allen, comedy team, and Phil Regan, tenor 33-05-31 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS--5:15—Burns and Allen and Lombardo Orchestra at World Fair. 33-05-31 The Mansfield News The first big hroadcast from the World's Fair Radio studio will take place tonight at 8-P.M when George Burns and Gracie Allen inaugurate their new series with Guy Lombardo's Canadians. Tune in on CKLW or WHK. 33-05-31 New York Times 9:30--Lombardo Orch.; Burns and Allen, Comedy
33-06-07	2	Title Unknown	N	33-06-14 Lowell Sun 9:30 p m—White Owl presents Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians, with Burns and Allen, comedy team and Phil Regan, tenor.
33-06-14	3	Title Unknown	N	33-06-14 Bakersfield Californian 8:30—Guy Lombardo and Burns & Allen, "White Owl Program."
33-06-21	4	Title Unknown	N	33-06-21 Waterloo Courier 7:30 — Guy Lomliardo's Royal Canadians, Burns and Allen WGN
33-06-28	5	Title Unknown	N	33-06-28 Bakersfield Californian 8:30—Guy Lombardo and Burns & Allen, "White Owl Program."
33-07-05	6	Title Unknown	N	33-07-05 Wisconsin State Journal 7:30 p. m.—Lombardo orchestra with Burns and Allen (WON).
33-07-12	7	Title Unknown	N	33-07-12 San Antonio Light There must be some affinity between airwaves and seawaves. Seth Parker is outfitting a four-masted schooner for an 18 months' sea voyage, James Melton is an enthusiastic motorboatlst, and now Guy Lombardo, who started out with an outboard motorboat, recently purchased a 60-foot sloop to serve as his summer residence. Lombardo, with Burns and Allen, will be on the air this evening.—KTSA at 7:30 p. m.
33-07-19	8	Title Unknown	N	33-07-19 Hutchinson News 7:30 p. m.—Burns and Allen, comedy team; Oiiy Lombanio'a Royal Canadians, KMOX WON.
33-07-26	9	Title Unknown	N	[Repeat broadcast] 33-07-26 Bluefield Daily Telegraph 11:30—Burns and Allen—c repeat
33-08-02	10	Title Unknown	N	33-08-02 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(8:30) Burns and Allen.
33-08-09	11	The Treasure Hunt	N	33-08-09 Bakerfield Californian KERN--8:30—Guy Lombardo, Burns and Allen ''White Owl Program." 33-08-09 Oakland Tribune Don't miss George Burns and Gracie Allen tonight. They're giving their continuity a new twist, or so they promise. They say they are going on a treasure hunt, but Gracie is so dumb she probably thinks the place to hunt treasure is in somebody else's safety deposit box.
33-08-16	12	Title Unknown	N	33-08-16 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(8:30) Burns and Allen.
33-08-23	13	Title Unknown	N	33-08-22 Oakland Tribune Remember when Gracie Allen was appealing over the air lanes for her missing brother? All the time she was rousing the nation to help her in her search for her mythical brother, her real brother, George Allen, was working in San Francisco. George's life was a reasonably peaceful one until Grace pulled the "missing brother" stunt. "I really feel sorry for George," says Gracie. "It really is a shame the things that have happened to him since we started that gag. The poor kid is kidded to death in his office. He has been forced to move and to have his phone taken out." 33-08-23 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(8:30) Burns and Allen.
33-08-30	14	'Julius, Seize Her'	N	33-08-30 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(8:30) Burns and Allen. 33-08-30 Oakland Tribune "Julius, Seize Her." is the title of the "colossal production of Gracie Allen's Dramatic Guild" tonight, as the press agent hath it. To quote further. Gracie will be "partially supported by Maestro George Burns.
33-09-06	15	Title Unknown	N	33-09-06 Waterloo Courier 7:30 — Guy Lombardo's Royal Canadians, Burns and Allen WGN
33-09-13	16	Title Unknown	N	33-09-13 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(8:30) Burns and Allen.
33-09-20	17	Title Unknown	N	33-09-20 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(8:30) Burns and Allen.
33-09-27	18	Title Unknown	N	33-09-27 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(6:30) Burns and Allen.
33-10-04	19	Title Unknown	N	33-10-04 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(6:30) Burns and Allen.
33-10-11	20	Title Unknown	N	33-10-11 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(6:30) Burns and Allen.
33-10-18	21	Title Unknown	N	33-10-18 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(6:30) Burns and Allen.
33-10-25	22	Title Unknown	N	33-10-25 Oakland Tribune KFRC—(6:30) Burns and Allen.
33-11-01	23	Title Unknown	N	33-11-01 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen, Guy Lombardo's Orchestra
33-11-08	24	Title Unknown	N	33-11-01 Lowell Sun WNAC--9.30—Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians, with Burns and Allen.
33-11-15	25	Title Unknown	N	33-11-15 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen, Guy Lombardo's Orchestra
33-11-22	26	Title Unknown	N	33-11-22 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen, Guy Lombardo's Orchestra
33-11-29	27	Title Unknown	N	33-11-29 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen, Guy Lombardo's Orchestra
33-12-06	28	Title Unknown	N	33-12-06 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen, Guy Lombardo's Orchestra
33-12-13	29	Title Unknown	N	33-12-13 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen, Guy Lombardo's Orchestra
33-12-20	30	Title Unknown	N	33-12-20 San Antonio Express Burns and Allen with Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians are on the air over KTSA Wednesday from 8:30 to 9 pm.
33-12-27	31	Title Unknown	N	33-12-27 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen, Guy Lombardo's Orchestra
34-01-03	32	Title Unknown	N	34-01-03 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen
34-01-10	33	Title Unknown	N	34-01-10 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen
34-01-17	34	Title Unknown	N	34-01-17 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen
34-01-24	35	Title Unknown	N	34-01-24 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen
34-01-31	36	Title Unknown	N	34-01-31 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen
34-02-07	37	Title Unknown	N	34-02-07 Lowell Sun 9.30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-02-14	38	Title Unknown	N	34-02-14 Lowell Sun 9.30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-02-21	39	Title Unknown	N	34-02-21 Lowell Sun 9.30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-02-28	40	Title Unknown	N	34-02-28 Lowell Sun 9.30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-03-07	41	Title Unknown	N	34-03-07 La Crosse Tribune 8:30 P. M. — Guy Lombardo's Royal Canadians with Burns and Allen, WABC, WBBM, KMOX, WCCO
34-03-14	42	Title Unknown	N	34-03-14 Lowell Sun 9.30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-03-21	43	Title Unknown	N	34-03-21 Lowell Sun 9.30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-03-28	44	Title Unknown	N	34-03-28 Lowell Sun 9.30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-04-04	45	Title Unknown	N	34-04-04 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen
34-04-11	46	Title Unknown	N	34-04-11 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen
34-04-18	47	Title Unknown	N	34-04-18 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen
34-04-25	48	Title Unknown	N	34-04-25 Syracuse Herald WABC-CBS—9:30, Burns and Allen
34-05-02	49	Title Unknown	N	34-05-02 Lowell Sun 9:30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-05-09	50	Title Unknown	N	34-05-09 Lowell Sun 9:30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-05-16	51	Title Unknown	N	34-05-16 Lowell Sun 9:30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen. 34-05-19 Oakland Tribune GEORGE BURNS and GRACIE ALLEN each stand at separate microphones at opposite ends of the studio.
34-05-23	52	Title Unknown	N	34-05-21 Oakland Tribune GRACIE ALLEN actually started her stage career on the stage. She was six years old and thought she was a pretty good singer. In fact, she told her sister, who was playing in vaudeville, that she (Gracie) was the better singer. Sis dragged her out on a stage and told her to go ahead. Gracie cried pretty lustily, but her sister only goaded her on, telling her to do an Irish jig. She did, but she kept crying. The audience thought it was pretty funny. 34-05-23 Lowell Sun 9:30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-05-30	53	Title Unknown	N	34-05-30 Lowell Sun 9:30—WNAC: Guy Lombardo. Burns and Allen.
34-06-06	54	Title Unknown	N	34-06-06 Lowell Sun WNAC--9.30—Guy Lombardo's Royal Canadians; Burns and Allen
34-06-13	55	Title Unknown	N	[Final The White Owl Program; replaced by "Looking At Life" with Roy Helton] 34-06-13 Lowell Sun WNAC--9.30—Guy Lombardo's Royal Canadians; Burns and Allen 34-06-13 New York Times 9:30-WABC--Lombardo Orchestra; Burns and Allen, Comedy
34-06-20	--		--	34-06-20 New York Times 9:30-WABC--Looking At Life--Roy Helton 34-06-26 Syracuse Herald George Burns and Gracie Allen, who lelt on a European vacation trip Saturday, return to the air Sept. 19 in a show to be called "The Adventures of Gracie." With them will be Bobby Dolan's orchestra and the Songsmlths quartet: also a $500 weekly boost In salary. 34-06-27 Oakland Tribune George Burns and Gracie Allen plan to sail for Europe next Saturday. In this connection George rates listing in the best quotes of the week by saying: "The real reason Gracie and I are going to Europe is so Gracie can wear the clothes she's just bought with the money we're going to make the year after we get back." 34-07-10 Oakland Tribune GRACIE ALLEN is a direct descendant of Rob Roy of Scotland, famous Scottish chieftain.

34-09-12	--		--	34-09-08 Oakland Tribune After a seven weeks' tour of Europe and Italy, George Burns and Gracie Allen, who will be remembered by radio audiences as George Burns and Gracie Allen, returned to New York recently aboard the S. S. Paris. George and Gracie played a week's engagement at the Palladium in London as their only stage appearance. Gracie brought back with her an itinerary of the places she intends visit in New York. On the list for October 3 is the Columbia studios. She figures that they'll have to be there on the date to renew their broadcasts anyway. 34-09-12 New York Times 9:30-WABC--American Federation of Labor Program
34-09-19	1	Title Unknown	N	[Premiere of The Adventures of Gracie for White Owl Cigars] 34-09-19 Charleston Gazette Burns and Allen comprise the CBS resumption at 8:30, but instead of Guy Lombardo's orchestra there will be the musicians of Bobby Dolan. In addition the B. and A. microphone method is to be changed, the program itself to be called "The Adventures Of Gracie." 34-09-19 New York Times 9:30-WABC--George Burns and Gracie Allen, Comedians
34-09-26	2	Leaving for America	Y	[Sloppily butchered, partial recording, intended to obliterate the actual origin of the recording] 34-09-26 Wisconsin State Journal 7:30--Burns and Allen--WBBM
34-10-03	3	Title Unknown	N	34-10-03 Circleville Herald 9:30 p.m., Adventures of Gracie, Burns and Allen, CBS.
34-10-10	4	On the Atlantic	N	34-10-10 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30 p.m.--Burns and Allen: on the Atlantic (WBBM). 34-10-10 Oakland Tribune MADCAP GRACIE ON CBS. Further madcap adventures of Gracie Allen, absolutely uncontrolled by George Burns, will be featured during their broadcast over a CBS-KFRC network with Bobby Dolan's Orchestra tonight, from 6:30 to 7. Gracie will enact exciting incidents of her recent voyage home from Europe to America, during which strong men lost their minds, doughty seamen dove overboard, and the ship's company was almost driven to mutiny. George, the greatest martyr of them all, will occasionally get in a word or two as to what he thought about it all. Bobby Dolan's musical contributions will offer dance numbers and several medleys from recent musical successes.
34-10-17	5	Title Unknown	N	34-10-17 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30--Burns and Allen--WBBM
34-10-24	6	Title Unknown	N	34-10-24 Chester Times 9:30 P.M. WABC, WCAU--Burns and Allen, in Adventures of Gracie.
34-10-31	7	Title Unknown	N	34-10-31 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30--Burns and Allen--WBBM
34-11-07	8	Title Unknown	N	34-10-07 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30--Burns and Allen--WBBM 34-11-10 Oakland Tribune Gracie Allen is looking forward to the day when she and George have a home of their own and don't have to live in apartment hotels. She even has a name for it. If Julia Sanderson and Frank Crumit call their estate in Massachusetts "Dunrovin," Gracie figures, she and George should call theirs "Dunravin." It will probably be located at Loon Lake, N. Y.
34-11-14	9	George Risks His Sanity	N	34-11-14 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30--Burns and Allen: George risks his sanity (WBBM).
34-11-21	10	Title Unknown	N	[Last New York broadcast] 34-11-20 Lowell Sun November 21st will be the last Burns and Allen broadcast from New York City, as this popular pair leave for the coast to make another Paramount picture due to start on November 26th. The program thereafter will come from Hollywood. Bobby Dolan, the orchestra leader on the program, will go to the coast with Burns and Allen, but another orchestra will be recruited from California.
34-11-28	11	Title Unknown	N	34-11-28 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30--Burns and Allen--WBBM
34-12-05	12	Title Unknown	N	34-12-04 Wisconsin State Journal Wednesday 8:30--Burns and Allen--WBBM
34-12-12	13	Title Unknown	N	34-12-12 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30--Burns and Allen--WBBM
34-12-19	14	Title Unknown	N	34-12-19 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30--Burns and Allen--WBBM KMOX
34-12-26	15	Title Unknown	N	34-12-26 Wisconsin State Journal - 8:30--Burns & Allen--WBBM KMOX
35-01-02	16	Title Unknown	N	34-01-02 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30--Burns & Allen--WBBM KMOX
35-01-09	17	Title Unknown	N	35-01-09 Salt Lake Tribune 7:30--CBS--"The Adventures of Gracie," presenting Burns and Allen, with Bob Dolan's Orchestra.
35-01-16	18	Title Unknown	N	35-01-16 El Paso Herald-Post 7:30 p.m.--Burns and Allen, comedy teams, (CBS).
35-01-23	19	Title Unknown	N	35-01-18 Evening Tribune Gracie Allen is Ill Hollywood, Jan. 18.--(AP)--Gracie Allen, the "dumber" half of the team of Burns and Allen, was confined to her apartment Thursday from an attack of ptomaine poisoning. 35-01-23 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30--Burns & Allen--WBBM KMOX
35-01-30	20	Title Unknown	N	35-01-30 Wisconsin State Journal 8:30--Burns & Allen--WBBM KMOX
35-02-06	21	Title Unknown	N	35-02-06 Hayward Daily Review 6:30--KFRC, Burns and Allen.
35-02-13	22	Title Unknown	N	35-02-13 Lowell Sun It takes 58 men to put on those cigar shows on Wednesday nights. Besides Burns and Allen and maestro Bobby Dolan, there are 35 men in the orchestra, 9 singers, six actors, two announcers, two sound effects men and the control engineer--to say nothing of Georgia Stoll standing in the wings watching Bobby leading his band--that is his, except for 10 fiddles, who are imports from Raymond Paige's band.
35-02-20	23	Gracie Promises To Make Sense	N	35-02-20 Lima News The incorrigible wearer of the famous little blue hat, at the behest of George Burns, has decided to call off the verbal feud that has been raging these many months during the Wednesday Burns and Allen broadcasts. Gracie has resolved to cease firing questions of an equivocal nature at her partner and promises to make as much sense as possible. The tryout will occur at 9:30 over WABC.
35-02-27	24	Title Unknown	N	35-02-27 Chester Times 9:30 P.M. WABC, WCAU--Burns and Allen in Adventures of Gracie.
35-03-06	25	Title Unknown	N	35-03-06 Hayward Daily Review 6:30--KFRC, Burns and Allen.
35-03-13	26	Gracie At the Museum of Natural History	N	35-03-13 Winnipeg Free Press A tour of the Museum of Natural History, with George Burns acting as Gracie Allen's guide, occupy most of the Burns and Allen broadcast at 8:30 p.m. (CBS).
35-03-20	27	Title Unknown	N	35-03-20 Hayward Daily Review 6:30--KFRC, Burns and Allen.
35-03-27	28	Title Unknown	N	35-03-27 Hayward Daily Review 6:30--KFRC, Burns and Allen.
35-04-03	29	Title Unknown	N	35-04-03 Hayward Daily Review 6:30--KFRC, Burns and Allen.
35-04-10	30	Title Unknown	N	35-04-10 Hayward Daily Review 6:30--KFRC, Burns and Allen.
35-04-17	31	Solving the Parking Problem for Ferd Grofé	N	[Ferde Grofé takes over as Burns and Allen's music director] 35-04-17 Oakland Tribune Something entirely new in musical presentations is promised on the Burns and Allen broadcast over the Columbia network and KFRC between 6:30 and 7 tonight when Ferde Grofe, who came to Los Angeles from New York, takes over the music of this feature program. Grofe, who for years was arranger for Paul Whiteman and rose to fame through his arrangement of Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue," will present his special interpretation of "Blue Danube Waltz." First the number will be played as originally conceived by Strauss with a Viennese background; next will come a strain as played by a British military band, followed by an Oriental Interpretation with a background laid in the Suday. Next Grofe carries the melody into an Irish interpretation with muted trumpets, and closed with a symphonic arrangement a la Grofe. Gracie Allen will celebrate Ferde Grofe's debut as a musical director of her program by solving the traffic problem. "There will be a serious congestion around the studios if Ferde and his orchestra and the Buccaneers Octet all arrive at once," she told George Burns when they were discussing the program. "Anyhow, I think I ought to do something about the parking situation for suffering humanity all over the country." She continued before her partner could stop her, "Everybody should use a horse and buggy. It's just as easy to park as an automobile and after you park you still have a horse to ride to the office. Don't you think so?"
35-04-24	32	Spring Cleaning	N	35-04-24 Oakland Tribune SPRING CLEANING Mops, paint, varnish, brooms, electric sweepers and a whole bunch of other stuff are occupying the mind of Gracie Allen these days for Spring cleaning time is at hand. Gracie will tell George just how tired of house cleaning she is, even though she really hasn't started, in their weekly broadcast over the Columbia network and KFRC tonight from 6:30 to 7. Gracie's main trouble is confined to getting the washable wallpaper washed--it's so hard to take it off the wall for the laundry. Gracie and George will be supported musically by Ferde Grofe's Orchestra and the Buccaneers octet.
35-05-01	33	Gracie As Composer	N	[May Day program] 35-05-01 Oakland Tribune GRACIE AS COMPOSER Despite frantic efforts by the befuddled George Burns, Gracie Allen will appear before the microphone as a music composer in the CBS transcontinental, to be heard on KFRC tonight at 6:30. Jealous of Ferde Grofe's reputation, Gracie will attempt to demonstrate the ease in which she could soar to the heights of "Tin Pan Alley" fame. George Burns has gotten wind of Gracie's newest idea and is doing his level best to dissuade his zany partner. Gracie figues that the date of the broadcast makes a May Day theme appropriate and unhesitatingly announces that her radio listeners will be privileged to hear for the first time a new and immortal Maytime composition of her own creation.
35-05-08	34	Title Unknown	N	35-05-08 Oakland Tribune 5:30 KFRC--Adventures of Gracie
35-05-15	35	Title Unknown	N	35-05-15 Oakland Tribune 5:30 KFRC--Adventures of Gracie
35-05-22	36	Title Unknown	N	35-05-22 Oakland Tribune 5:30 KFRC--Adventures of Gracie
35-05-29	37	Title Unknown	N	35-05-29 Oakland Tribune 5:30 KFRC--Adventures of Gracie
35-06-05	38	Gracie Has Her Say In Court	N	35-06-05 Oakland Tribune Blissfully ignorant as to what she is charged with, Gracie Allen is slated to appear in court and say her say before the magistrate in tonight's broadcast in the "Adventures of Gracie" seris on KFRC, 6 to 6:30. The "Adventures of Gracie" may not cause as many spinal chills as the "Perils of Pauline" did many years ago, but would trade Gracie for Pauline? And who wants his spine to be chilled when he can have his ribs tickled?
35-06-12	39	Title Unknown	N	35-06-12 Oakland Tribune 6:00 KFRC--Gracie
35-06-19	40	Title Unknown	N	35-06-19 Oakland Tribune Gracie, whose supply of grey matter continues to diminish in an alarming manner, for the statement that she will out talk George by at least 15 minutes and 1 measured mile. Ferde Grofe and his orchestra likewise will clamor for a spot of attention on the program.
35-06-26	41	Title Unknown	N	35-06-26 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-07-03	42	Title Unknown	N	35-07-03 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-07-10	43	Title Unknown	N	35-07-10 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-07-17	44	Title Unknown	N	35-07-17 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-07-24	45	Title Unknown	N	35-07-24 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-07-31	46	Title Unknown	N	35-07-31 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-08-07	47	Title Unknown	N	35-08-07 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-08-14	48	Gracie In New York	N	35-08-14 Oakland Tribune GRACIE IN NEW YORK - Upon her arrival in New York Gracie Allen is alleged to have sent the following wire to KFRC, composed in her own private code: "stop. Indigo beale street mama. Hypotenuse guitars swimmingly unafraid coffee in cup ten cents. The magaffer and stroff passed this way carrying giraffe necks by the score. Stop. Piano pedals hitting piano legs over the head. Stop. Think you don't so?--AseyGray." Columbia's storm-winding translator translated this as follows: "Whoooooooops! Georgie Porgie and I will broadcast from Columbia's New York Playhouse on Wednesday, August 14, at 6 p.m. P.S.T. Don't forget to tell the reporters--Gracie." According to the translator, the phrase "magaffer and stroff" means Wednesday, August 14," and "giraffe necks" is gracie's way of referring to Eastern Daylight Savings Time.
35-08-21	49	Title Unknown	N	35-08-21 New York Times 10:00-WABC--George Burns and Gracie Allen, Comedians; Grofe Orchestra
35-08-28	50	Title Unknown	N	35-08-24 Oakland Tribune Burns and Allen will not join "Hollywood Hotel" but will go on the air for the same sponsor's tomato juice program as soon as they wind up their concluding cigar series. Time: About October 10." 35-08-28 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-09-04	51	Title Unknown	N	35-09-04 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-09-11	52	Title Unknown	N	35-09-11 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-09-18	53	Title Unknown	N	35-09-18 Oakland Tribune 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen
35-09-25	54	Title Unknown	N	[Final Burns and Allen program for General Cigar; replaced by Campbell Soup Presents Burns and Allen] 35-09-25 Oakland Tribune - 6 P.M. KFRC--Gracie Allen

35-10-02	1	Title Unknown	N	35-10-02 Oakland Tribune Ted Husing, acc CBS sports announcer and commentator; Milton Watson, popular musical comedy star and one of radio's leading tenors, and Jacques Renard's Orchestra have been engaged as supporting artists for George Burns and Gracie Allen in the comedy teams new series of weekly broadcasts to be inaugurated over the nationwide Columbia network and KFRC from 8:30 to 9. 35-10-02 Wisconsin State Journal - 7:3 p.m. Burns and Allen at new hour (WBBM).

The Burns and Allen Radio Programs Biographies

Nathan Birnbaum [George Burns] Vaudeville Stage, Radio, Television and Film Actor (1896-1996) Birthplace: New York City, New York, U.S.A. Radiography: 1932 The Robert Burns Panatela Program 1933 The White Owl Program 1934 The Adventures Of Gracie 1936 The Campbell's Tomato Juice Program 1936 The Campbell's Soup Program 1937 Lux Radio Theatre 1937 The Jell-O Program 1938 The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show 1938 Chesterfield Time 1939 Gulf Screen Guild Theatre 1940 The Hinds Honey and Almond Cream Program 1940 The Rudy Vallee Sealtest Show 1941 Well, I Swan 1942 United China Relief 1942 Command Performance 1942 Treasury Star Parade 1943 Command Performance 1943 The Bob Burns Show 1943 The Jack Benny Program 1943 It's Time To Smile 1943 Paul Whiteman Presents 1943 Cavalcade For Victory 1943 Mail Call 1944 Radio Hall Of Fame 1944 The Bakers Of America Show For the Armed Forces 1944 Your All-Time Hit Parade 1944 Birds Eye Open House 1944 Radio Hall Of Fame 1945 The Eddie Cantor Show 1945 Robert Benchley, Radio Critic 1945 Maxwell House Coffee Time 1945 The Danny Kaye Show 1946 Request Performance 1948 Philco Radio Time 1948 The Eddie Cantor Pabst Blue Ribbon Show 1948 Guest Star 1948 Kraft Music Hall 1949 Gisele Of Canada 1949 The Aldrich Family 1949 The Ammident Show 1951 Hedda Hopper's Hollywood 1951 The Bing Crosby Show 1952 The Lucky Strike Program 1952 The Doris Day Show 1964 The Arthur Godfrey Show Here's To Veterans	George Burns circa 1935 The ever dapper Nathan Birnbaum circa 1925 Burns and Allen publicity still for Paramount circa 1938 George and Gracie over CBS Al Hirscheld sketch of George Burns	From the October 17th, 1976 edition of the Oakland Tribune, a four-part series of excerpts from George Burns' book, "Living It Up": George Burns--at Age 80 To under-20's George Burns is the Academy-Award-winning actor in "The Sunshine Boys." Those from 20 to 35 remember him as the cigar-chomping straight man with the dizzy wife — Gracie — of the Burns and Allen TV show. To the rest of us George and Gracie were one of the greats of radio. He's now 80 and going strong. When asked, "When are you going to retire?" Mr. Bums replies, "Never!" and reveals in the following article, the first of four from his new book, "Living It Up," the secret to his longevity in show business. By GEORGE BURNS Getting to be my age didn't happen overnight. I'm 80 years old and I had a darned good time getting there. I ran into a lot of people who ask me when I'm going to retire. I think the only reason you should retire is if you can find something you enjoy doing more than what you're doing now. I happen to be in love with show business, and I can't think of anything I'd enjoy more than that. So I guess I've been retired all my life. I don't see what age has to do with retirement anyway. I've known some young men of 85, and I've met some very old men of 40. There isn't a thing I can't do now that I did when I was 21 ... which gives you an idea of how pathetic I was when I was 21. But 80 is a beautiful age. The secret of feeling young is to make every day count for something. To me there's no such thing as a day off. When I'm not working, which isn't often, my day goes something like this: I usually get up at 8 o'clock. I like getting up early, it gives me a longer day and more time to do things. The first thing I do is go to the bathroom and in the bathroom I do what everybody does — brush my teeth. All right, so that's the second thing I do — the first thing I do is gargle. I've got to take care of my vocal chords. Picking out my wardrobe for the day is something I enjoy, because clothes have always been important to me. I came from a very poor family. I was 16 before owned a suit of my own. I don't know how I managed to get the $12 to buy it, but I was really proud of it. I thought I had finally made the big time. It was a gray plaid suit with a four-button coat. I would only button the top button so that I could fold back the bottom part of the coat and put my hand in the pants pocket. I thought this gave me a jaunty look, and people would think I had money in my pocket. Believe me, the only thing I ever had in that pocket was my hand. I kept my hand in that pocket so long that when I outgrew the suit and gave it to my younger brother, my hand was still in the pocket. Now I'm dressed for the day and ready to leave for the office. If I'm staying home that night, I stop off in the kitchen to tell my cook, Arlette, what I want for dinner. Arlette has been working for me for years and when I walk into the kitchen, she says, "Mr. Burns, you look beautiful this morning!" That's why she's been with me for years. At 10 sharp I walk into my office, and my secretary, Jack Longdon says, "Mr. Burns, you look beautiful, this morning!" He's been with me for years, too. I go into my inner office, and my writer, Elon Packard, says "Hiya, George!" He's only been with me 10 years and he's a good writer, but he still doesn't know what to say in the morning. We work in the office from 10 until noon. It's only two hours but it's a very concentrated effort. We answer correspondence, update the routines in my stage--act, write speeches for testimonial dinners, plan what I'm going to say on talk shows, write copy for various commercials I do. But at 12 on the nose, I quit and go to Hillcrest Country Club. Hillcrest is like a second home to me. I've belonged to it for more than 40 years. When I have my lunch there I always sit at the same table. It's called the "Round Table." The reason it's called the Round Table is because it's a table that's round. This table is where the action is. There's very little listening but an awful lot of talking, because most of the people who sit there are in show business. Every day the cast changes — you might find Groucho Marx, Danny Thomas, George Jessel, Milton Berle and directors and producers like Eddie Buzzell, Pandro Berman, George Seaton, etc. With that bunch if you want to get a word in edgewise you have to have an appointment. But over the years I've noticed a change at the table. Where the main topic used to be our sex lives, it's now about our bad backs. I can't speak for anybody else, but I know how I got my bad back — taking bows. As in every group there is usually one person who takes change. At our table it's Georgie Jessel. He knows all the jokes, he's a great storyteller, and very funny. But he does one thing that drives me up the wall. Whenever he's Still Living It Up and Enjoying It All continued from page 20 scheduled to do a eulogy at someone's funeral, he tries it out on us. Did you ever try eating lunch and listening to a eulogy at the same time? Jessel is the only one I know who can turn matzos, eggs and salami into the Last Supper. Lunch usually takes an hour or so, and then I'm off to the card room for my favorite recreation -- playing bridge. I love the game; it's exciting, stimulating, and it makes you think. I don't say I'm the greatest bridge player in the world but the men I play with are just as bad as I am. Sometimes I've watched some of the great bridge players play, and it's always so quiet. We argue, we fight and the language we use didn't come out of "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm." But there's a reason why we carry on like this - all the men that I play bridge with are practically my age or even older; sometimes I'm the youngest at the table. So we holler and shout to make sure the other members of the club know that we're still living. The only time we get quiet is when Georgie Jessel comes over to kibitz. It makes us very nervous because we know he's got four eulogies in his pocket. Now comes the most relaxing and comfortable time of my day. It's a quiet time and gives me a chance to reflect about life and things in general. Arlette is in the kitchen preparing dinner, and while I'm making myself a double martini on the rocks my two cats, Ramona and Princess, are purring and rubbing against my legs as though they're anticipating the evening as much as I am. Of course, I only have these quiet and relaxing evenings when I don't have a date — which means I'm quiet and relaxed about once a month. When I do have a date, I usually take her to dinner at a nice restaurant. I like the company of young girls, and young girls seem to like to go out with me. It's because I don't rush them — there's no pressure on them. When I take them to Chasen's for dinner, in between courses they have time to do their homework. On occasion if I'm in a romantic mood, I invite the young lady back to my place. And at the end of the evening she won't be disappointed. We have a little brandy, I turn the lights down low, and when I think the moment is just right — I send for my piano player. I sing her four or five songs and go upstairs and go to bed. My piano player takes her home. I've outlived four of my piano players. TOMORROW: "Say Goodnight, Gracie" From the book LIVING IT UP--OR THEY STILL LOVE ME IN ALTOONA! Copyright 1976 Field Newspaper Syndicate Here's Part Two of the 1976 Oakland series on George Burns' autobiography from the October 18th 1976 edition of the Oakland Tribune: Burns & Allen: The End The Illogical Logic Foiled By Death George Burns and Gracie Allen were one of America's most beloved husband and wife comedy teams for over 30 years. Gracie was the scatter brain in a permanent state of confusion. George, while tapping his cigar, was the patient straight man who tried to unravel her circuitous logic. In the following excerpt, the second in a series of four from his book 'Living It Up,' George Burns recalls his life with the other half of the Burns and Allen team. By GEORGE BURNS I was married to Gracie for 38 years, and it was a marvelous marriage. It worked. Now don't get me wrong, we had our arguments, but not like other couples had. Our arguments were never about marriage. Whe we had a disagreement, it had to do with show business. An Average couple who has been married for 38 years are with each other for about six hours a day. This means they see each other about one fourth of the time, so in 38 years of marriage they've only been together a little over nine years. But not Gracie and me. We got up together, we dressed together, we ate together, we worked together, we played together, we were together 24 hours a day. That meant in 38 years of marriage Gracie and I were together four tmes longer than the average couple. Looking back, I really don't know why Gracie married me. I certainly know why I wanted to marry her. She was a living Irish doll; such a dainty little thing, only 102 pounds, with long, blue-black hair and sparkling eyes; so full of life and with an infectious laugh that made her fun to be around. Besides all that she was a big talent. She could sing, she was a great dancer, and a fine actress with a marvelous flair for comedy. But why did she marry me? As they say in music, I was tacit. I was nothing. I was already starting to lose my hair, I had a voice like a frog. I stuttered and stammered, and I was a bad, small-time vaudeville actor and I was broke. I guess she must have felt sorry for me. I'm glad she did. I suppose you're wondering: if he was bad, how did the team of Burns and Allen ever make it? It's true, I was bad, but only onstage. Offstage was something else again. I knew show business, especially vaudeville. I knew all the ingredients involved in putting an act together. I knew exits, entrances, how to construct a joke, how to switch a joke, where the laughs were going to drop, how to build an act to a strong finish. And most important, I knew the zany off-center character Gracie Allen played onstage. I discovered the most effective way for Gracie to get laughs was by having her tell jokes that had what I called "illogical logic"; they sounded like they made sense, but only to Gracie. This tickled the audiences and they fell in love with her because her honest delivery made all this unbelievable nonsense sound unbelievable. As time went on I got better onstage. I had to. For me there was no way to go but up. I finally got so good that nobody knew I was there: Gracie: On my way in, a man stopped me at the stage door and said, "Hiya, cutie, how about a bite tonight after the show?" George: And you said? Gracie: I said, "I'll be busy after the show but I'm not doing anything now," so I bit him. George: Gracie let me ask you something. Did the nurse ever happen to drop you on your head when you were a baby? Gracie: Oh, no, we couldn't afford a nurse, my mother had to do it. George: You had a smart mother. Gracie: Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. George: Gracie, what school did you go to? Gracie: I can't tell you or I'd lose money. George: You'd lose money? Gracie: Yeah. The school pays me $25 a month not to tell. George: Is there anybody in the family as smart as you? Gracie: My sister, Hazel is even smarter. If it wasn't for her, our canary would never have hatched that ostrich egg. George: A canary hatched an ostrich egg? Gracie: Yeah, but the canary was to small to cover that big egg. George: So? Gracie: Hazel sat on the egg and held the canary in her lap. George: Hazel must be the smartest one in your family. Gracie: Oh, no. My brother, Willie, was no dummy either. George: Willy? Gracie: Yeah, the one who slept on the floor. George: Why would he sleep on the floor? Gracie: He had high blood pressure. George: And he was trying to keep it down? Gracie, this family of yours, do you all live together? Gracie: Oh, Sure. MY father, my brother, my uncle, my cousin and my nephew all sleep in one bed and-- George: In one bed? I'm surprised your grandfather doesn't sleep with them. Gracie: Oh, he did, but he died, so they made him get up. On Aug. 27, 1964, Gracie passed away. I was terribly shocked. I just couldn't believe it, it all happend so suddenly. It was true that three years before, Gracie had a severe heart attack, but afterward she came out of the hospital and was just fine. For a short time we had round-the-clock nurses, but she improved so rapidly that we dismissed two of them and kept one as a nurse companion for Gracie during the day. From time to time Gracie had little heart flutters but this created no particular problem, because when the nurse wasn't there I knew exactly what to do. I knew where the pills were and which pill to give her. So when she had flareups, I'd give her the pill, put my arms around her, and we'd hold each other until it passed. It usually lasted no longer than a few seconds. After a few months we treated this whole thing very casually. We got used to living with it. The pills made me feel secure. As long as I had the pills with me, we lived a very normal life. I figured we could go on this way, year after year, it never entered my mind that anything could change it. Then one evening Gracie had another attack. I have her the pill, we held on to each other--but this time it didn't work. When the pain continued, I called Dr. Kennamer, and they rushed Gracie to the hospital. Two hours later Gracie was gone. At first I couldn't accept it. I sat there stunned. I turned to the doctor and said "How could this happen? I've still got pills left." The doctor didn't say a word; he quietly ushered the other members of the family out of the room and left me there with Gracie. It was then that the full impact hit me. I knew I was alone. It wasn't easy--the period of adjustment to such a loss took time. Gracie had been such an all-important part of my life that everywhere I looked, everywhere I went, the feeling of her was still there. My family and friends did all they could to help me, but my days still seemed empty. For me, the most difficult time was at night. It was hard for me to go to sleep, and when I did doze off I'd soon wake with a start and look over, expecting Gracie to be there in her bed beside me. This went on for about six months, then one night I did something, and to this day I can't explain why. I was all ready to get into bed, and then for some reason I pulled the covers down on Gracie's bed and got into it. I don't know whether it made me feel closer to her, but for the first time since Gracie had gone I got a good night's sleep. I never did go back to my bed. TOMORROW: "Meet my friend, Jack" Field Newspaper Syndicate And here's Installment Three of the Oakland Tribune excerpts from "Living It Up" from the October 19th 1976 edition: A Buddy Named Benny Everyone knows George Burns and Jack Benny were best friends. It's also well known Bums could have Benny rolling in the aisles. But what were some of those shenanigans that made one of America's best funny men take a bow to his friend? In the following excerpt, the third in a series of four from his book "Living It Up," George Burns tenderly recalls his long friendship with Benny and what the private Benny was really like. By GEORGE BURNS Somebody once said if you live long enough, sooner or later everything that can happen to you will happen. And it's true. However, I figure there must be something in life when you complete the cycle and start all over again. I wonder how old I'll be when I get the mumps again? As you go through life, the good things and the bad things have a way of balancing themselves out. But there are times when you get the feeling that the bad things are winning. That's the way I felt the day my closest friend, Jack Benny, passed away. Even though those of us close to Jack knew that his illness was terminal, when the end actually came we weren't ready for it. I've come to realize that death is forever, and there is no way one can completely accept it. I also realize that there is nothing one can do about it Jack was gone and part of me went with him, but a lot of Jack stayed here with me. Not only me — part of him stayed with people all over the world. Jack's image was so well established and the character he played was based on such reality that everybody thought of him as a personal friend. Who could forget that walk, that voice, those familiar gestures, the outraged glances? Whenever one of Jack's self-provoked situations backfired, we all suffered his humiliation right along with him. But we laughed while we did it. That was Jack Benny the performer, the perennial 39-year-old tightwad. But the Jack Benny I knew was entirely different. He was really something special. He was the warmest and most considerate man I ever knew. Everybody who came in contact with Jack fell in love with him. And the feeling was mutual because Jack loved people. It didn't matter if they were rich, poor, tall, small, round, square, black, white, yellow or even burnt orange — Jack just loved people. The longer I knew Jack the more he amazed me. Sometimes for no reason at all he would stop at a little bakery in Beverly Hills, buy a cake and take it up to his doctor's office. The receptionist and the nurses would make coffee, and they'd all sit around and have a little gossip session. Jack didn't have an appointment with the doctor, he just got a kick out of talking to the girls. I envied Jack because he enjoyed everything. In all the time I knew him there was just one little thing that always griped him. He could never get what he considered a good cup of coffee. He once said to me, "George, I've traveled all over the world, I've been everywhere at least once, and I've yet to have a good cup of coffee." "Jack," I said, 'if you've never tasted a good cup of coffee, how would you know if you got one?" He gave me one of his scornful looks and said, "George, if that was supposed to be funny, it's lucky you don't make your living as a writer," and walked away. But I think I figured out why the little things, even a cup of coffee, were just as important to Jack as the big things. He was a superstar for a lot of years and had achieved every goal it's possible to reach in show business. It's a well-known fact in show business that I could always make Jack Benny laugh. And it was always silly little things that would do it — things that nobody else would laugh at. During all the years I knew Jack I never told him an out and-out joke, because that would be the last thing he'd laugh at. He made his living writing comedy, so if you told him a joke, first he'd analyze it, then he'd start to rewrite it. Now, here's something I did at a party one night and it was _____ _____ _____. You're not going to believe this, and I don't blame you because I still don't believe it either. It started while we were both standing at the bar having a drink. We were wearing dinner clothes, and I noticed that there was a little piece of white thread stuck on the lapel of Jacks coat. I said, "Jack, that piece of thread you're wearing on your lapel tonight looks very smart. Do you mind if I borrow it?" Then I took the piece of thread from his lapel and put it on my lapel. That was it. I'm not sure, but I think that sometime during my life in show busi- George Could Always Leave Benny Laughing Continued from Page 17 ness I must have thought of a funnier bit — I certainly hope so. But that bit of business took Jack apart. He laughed, he pounded the bar, he kept pounding the bar and finally he collapsed on the floor, laughing. I must admit I always loved every moment of it. Being able to send this great comedian into spasms of hysterical laughter was good for my ego. The next day I got a little box, put a piece of white thread in it, and sent it over to Jack's house with a note that said, "Jack, thanks for letting me wear this last night" An hour later I got a phone call from his wife, Mary Livingstone. She said, "George, that piece of white thread got here an hour ago and Jack is still on the floor. When he stops laughing I think I'll leave him!" Once I was playing the Majestic Theater in Chicago, and at the same time Jack was playing the Orpheum Theater in Milwaukee. His show closed on a Saturday night, so he decided to come to Chicago and spend Sunday with me. He sent a wire which read "Am arriving in Chicago 10:30 Sunday morning. Meet me at the railroad station." I wired back "Looking forward to seeing you. What time are you arriving I'd like to meet you." Jack wired me "Am arriving Sunday morning at 10:30." I sent off another wire saying "If you don't want to tell me what time you're coming in, I'll see you in the hood. When I got Jack's next wire I knew he was getting irritated. I read "Stop fooling around I'm arriving 10:30 Sunday morning. Meet me at the station." My next wire was "How could I meet you? Didn't get your last wire." The next thing I knew I was deluged with telegrams from all over the country. Every one of them said "Jack Benny is arriving at 10:30 Sunday morning. Meet him at the station." Jack had obviously gotten in touch with all of our friends and told them to send me these wires. I got telegrams from Sophie Tucker, Blossom Seeley, Benny Fields, Jay C. Flippen, Harry Richman, Al Jolson, Belle _____, Eddie Cantor, George Jessel, Jesse Block, Eve Sully— I must have received about 25 wires. I pinned them all over the wall in my hotel room and when Jack arrived naturally I didn't meet him. He walked into my room about 11 o'clock and said "George, why didn't you meet me?" Very innocently I said, "I didn't know what time you were coming in." Jack looked at me, he looked at the wires pinned to the wall, and then he fell on the bed laughing. This is one anecdote about Jack Benny you may have heard before, but I think it bears repeating. One day he went to his lawyer's office in Beverly Hills to sign a multimillion dollar contract. I knew that it was a very big deal so when Jack came into the club that afternoon I said to him, "Jack, you must be very excited " ''I certainly am" he said. "Do you know after I signed the contract I stopped at a little drugstore downstairs and, George, I finally found a place that serves a good cup of coffee.'" That was Jack Benny, my dearest and closest friend. And wherever Jack is I hope the coffee is good. TOMORROW: "A Dresser Is Not a Piece of Furniture" From the Book LIVING IT UP--OR, THEY STILL LOVE ME IN ALTOONA To be published by G.P. Putnam & Sons Field Newspaper Syndicate And lastly from the series of excerpts from "Living It Up" the installment of October 20th 1976: Triumph of the 'Sunshine Boy' George Burns has been a vaudeville comedian, radio personality, television co-star and night-club entertainer for most of his life. Just when von think he deserves a rest, he becomes a movie star at the age of 80. "I didn't quit," he says. "I got so old I became new again." In the following excerpt, the last in a series of four from his book "Living It Up," George Burns comments on his award-winning performance in "The Sunshine Boys" and recalls a "dresser" he once had on the road. By George Burns I don't know if this is common knowledge or not, but most performers in show business who are doing well have a dresser. In this case, a dresser is not a piece of furniture, he's someone whose main function is to take care of your clothes and help you in and out of them. Actually, he does everything possible to make you comfortable so you're free to concentrate on giving a good performance. I hired Charlie Reade, who was part of one of the most famous dancing acts in vaudeville, called the Dunhills. The act is still around, but with different people. Soon I found my new dresser had several peculiar little quirks. Like when he took my shoes down to the barbershop to be shined, he would always carry them in a flight bag so that nobody would know that was one of his duties. One day I was in the barbershop getting a haircut, and the barber said "Mr. Burns, what's wrong with that road manager of yours? Every day around one o'clock he comes in with a pair of shoes in a flight bag and whispers to my shoeshine boy, I'll pick these up in an hour and don't take them out of the bag until I leave the shop. And then he ducks out." I said, "Well, I'm surprised he brings both of them in at the same time. He's very particular about his shoes. He usually brings in one first, and if he likes the shine, he brings in the other one. He must really trust that kid you got working for you." Besides smuggling my shoes in and out, another one of Charlie's duties was to help me on with my coat when I got dressed for a performance. But Charlie had so much pride that he always made sure the dressing room door was closed so nobody would see him holding my coat. One night the owner of the hotel, Bill Harrah, walked in while Charlie was holding my coat, and without missing a beat Charlie put it on and pretended it was his. So as not to embarrass Charlie I put on his coat. Both of us looked pretty silly, him in checkered pants and a tuxedo coat, and me in a checkered coat and tuxedo pants. Bill Harrah stared at us and said, "I don't want to say anything, but you fellows have your coats mixed up." Looking down, I said. "I didn't notice that," and so Charlie and I changed coats. Now you all know that I've spent my entire life in show business, then at the age of 79 I made one movie, "The Sunshine Boys," and it's like I'm just getting started. That should be an example to everyone. I didn't quit, I stayed in there, and I finally got so old that I became new again. During my many years in show business with Gracie, whether it was vaudeville, radio, television or movies, we were always Burns and Allen, and I played George Burns. Now here I was playing the character of Al Lewis in "The Sunshine Boys," and it was a brand-new experience for me. But I felt the character of Al Lewis so strongly I could hardly wait to get to the studio. Finally the day came when they were going to shoot my first scene. I had a very early call, and while I was driving to the studio I remembered something that Edward G. Robinson once told me. He said that in every picture he ever made, before they shot the first scene if he got nervous, he knew he was going to give a good performance. This kind of worried me, because in one hour I was going to shoot my first scene and I wasn't a bit nervous. I got to my dressing room and sat down and waited. I must have sat there four or five minutes. Nothing happened. I almost fell asleep. I thought maybe if I started putting on my wardrobe that would do it. When I finished dressing I stood in front of the mirror and forgot all about being nervous. I couldn't get over the way I looked. I had on a dark pin-striped suit, a polkadot bow tie and a white silk scarf. But I didn't look like an actor. I looked like an honorarypallbearer. I looked at myself from different angles; first from the left, then from the right, then straight ahead. Then I threw back my head and laughed; then I looked down and frowned, but something was missing. Finally I realized what it was — no cigar. Even with all those clothes on I felt naked. And there wasn't going to be any cigar, because author Neil Simon and director Herb Ross had decided I wasn't going to smoke in the picture. I couldn't imagine myself without a cigar. The big moment arrived for me to start my new career as an actor. They called for me, and I walked onto the set with no cigar, no butterflies and dry palms. My first scene was with Richard Benjamin. I knock on the door, and he opens it. When he sees me he says "Hello, Mr. Lewis, come on in." Well, when he opened the door and said, "Hello, Mr. Lewis, come on in," I just looked around. I didn't know whom he was talking to. When I heard the name Lewis I thought maybe Jerry got the part. Herb stopped the scene and came over to me and said, "George, you're Mr. Lewis." I felt better right away. I knew if I couldn't remember that my name was Lewis, I was nervous enough to give a good performance. From the book "Living It Up--Or, They Love Me In Altoona!" To be published by G.P. Putnam's Sons. Field Newspaper Syndicated From the March 10th 1996 edition of the Winnipeg Sunday Free Press: He's gone to meet God--and Gracie By Myrna Oliver Los Angeles Times LOS ANGELES — George Burns — the indefatigable entertainer whose staying power became the last, most endearing gag in a graceful, laughfilled career — died yesterday morning at his home in Beverly Hills. He was 100 years and 49 days old. The comedian, actor, singer and author apparently died of heart failure a few hours after his nurse found him shaking and breathing shallowly in his bed. His son Ronnie was with him at the end. There were no last-second oneliners or pithy sign-offs, said Burns' longtime manager and friend, Irving Fein. But for years, Burns had insisted in gravelly monotone: "I don't believe in dying... It's been done." Condolences poured into the Burns home from around the United States, recalling the comedian's many incarnations — as the vaudevillian, the hit radio and television act with his beloved wife Gracie Allen, and as the irascible elder statesman of comedy. In a statement, President Clinton called Burns "one of the great entertainers of all time." His friend of nearly eight decades, comedian Milton Berle said: "He's up there in heaven with Gracie, doing their act. And if I know George, he'll be throwing one-liners at St. Peter." Burns had been in ill health since July 1994, when he slipped and fell in the shower at his home in Las Vegas. His frailty caused him to cancel performances celebrating his centenary at the London Palladium and Caesar's Palace in Las Vegas. He was also too ill with the flu to attend his own 100th birthday bash in January. Burns will be buried alongside Allen at a private funeral service Tuesday at Forest Lawn cemetery here, Fein said. A public memorial may be scheduled later. "It's been hard to imagine show business before George Burns," said Bob Hope, who now, at 92, becomes comedy's elder statesman. "Now, it's difficult to imagine show business without him." Goodnight, Georgie Show business career began in 1903 The Canadian Press George Burns died quietly at age 100 yesterday morning. A sketch: Beginnings: Born Nathan Birnbaum in New York City on Jan. 20, 1896. Early Years: Entered show business in 1903 as member of Peewee Quartet, then began vaudeville in 1905. Formed comedy act with Gracie Allen in 1923. Later Years: Performed for some 90 years. Career spanned vaudeville, radio (The Burns and Allen Show), movies, television (The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show), nightclubs, best-selling books, recordings and video. Made first feature film with Allen in 1932, The Big Broadcast. Married: Had two children, son and daughter, with Allen, whom he wed in Cleveland in 1926. Awards: Won Grammy in 1991 for best spoken-word recording for excerpts from Gracie: A Love Story. Won Oscar for the aging vaudevillian in the 1975 film The Sunshine Boys. Quotes: On retirement:"I can't afford to die when I'm booked." On why he was considered sexy: "I've been longer at it than anyone else." On age: "I've reached the point where I get a standing ovation for just standing." Burns exits enduring, endearing career By Charles Champlin Los Angeles Times LOS ANGELES - George Burns, who died yesterday at the still-extraordinary age of 100, made it seem for a while as if he had no intention of leaving at all. With his cigars and martinis and his fondness for the company of pretty young women, he made old age out to be not a grey back bedroom but an extension of the prime of life. The great achievement of his career may well have been to convince millions, who may have been doubtful, that life begins or begins again, not at 40 but at 79, as his did when he made The Sunshine Boys after a hiatus from the cameras of 36 years. Extraordinary His long climb from the lowest rungs of vaudeville to the top and then into radio and television as half of Burns and Allen prepared him, if not later audiences, for his extraordinary and endearing success as a single. He remembered that when he and Grade were in vaudeville, he learned to go onstage with a cigar before the audience arrived, to test the prevailing drafts, so he could stand downwind from Gracie. He had learned that audiences resented him when the cigar smoke went in Gracie's face. He used to claim he had the easiest act in vaudeville, since all he had to do was say "You what?" or "Your brother what?" to trigger Gracie's glorious inanities ("You could have knocked me over with a fender"). The truth was, of course, that George was the ultimate old pro, who quickly saw the appeal of Gracie's chirpy malaprop innocence. "Say, good night, Gracie," Burns would say. "Good night, Gracie," she would reply. Chatting in his Hollywood office a few years ago before going off to do a show in Lafayette, La., he suddenly called to an assistant, "Phone Lafayette and find the name of the oldest theatre in town. I'll tell 'em I played there 50 years ago." After the hard years in tank-town vaudeville, he knew how to win an audience. A trouper Burns was a trouper in the old "the-show-must-go-on" tradition. Only a few years ago, he fell and stripped the skin off one shin, raising a ghastly bruised welt and reducing his gait to a hobble. He examined it in his Las Vegas dressing room one night after a performance. I'd have said it was a miracle he could stand, but he'd done an hour with the audience none the wiser about the injury or the pain. He was one of the great show business raconteurs, onstage (where his tales were central to his charm) and offstage (where they flowed from an apparently bottomless memory). As with Alfred Hitchcock, another superb raconteur, it was not always clear where memory left off and imagination began, but it hardly mattered. There was always a discernible ring of truth, as in his story about an early partner who could sing but not talk without a heavy stammer. One night at their boarding house in Altoona (or some such place) the partner ran to George gasping unintelligibly. "Sing it!" George said he cried. The partner sang, "We been robbed, we been robbed, we been robbed," to a tune George, for once, could not remember. Many of George's stories, public and private, involved his long, dear friendship with Jack Benny. The game between them was that George could send Jack into hysterics with the lift of an eyebrow, but Jack could not raise a laugh from George, hard as he tried. My favorite among the stories was of a long-ago breakfast. Jack said, "What're you having?" George said, "Steak and eggs; I'm hungry. What about you?" "I'm having Cream of Wheat," Jack said. "Why" George asked, incredulous. "Because Mary Livingston says it's good for me," Jack explained. "But steak and eggs are good for you." "That's right," Jack said defiantly. When the waiter came, they both had steak and eggs. When the bill arrived, George said, "You pay it, Jack." Jack said, "Why should I pay all of it?" "Because if you don't," George said, "I'll tell Mary you didn't have Cream of Wheat." Amazingly, George Burns linked a day before radio, let alone television, with a world of CD-ROMs and cyberspace. And no small part of the fondness audiences of all ages had for him was that he bespoke times when things seemed simpler, more innocent, less frazzled and cynical, when a few bars of soft-shoe and lines of a foolish song from an ancient vaudeville act carried a strong and particular magic. After Gracie died, George made monthly visits to her grave to bring her up to date on his doings. Now, whatever one's theological leanings, it is nice to think of the act reunited.

Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen Vaudeville Stage, Radio, Television and Film Actor (1895-1964) Birthplace: San Francisco, California, U.S.A. Radiography: 1932 The Robert Burns Panatela Program 1933 The White Owl Program 1934 The Adventures Of Gracie 1936 The Campbell's Tomato Juice Program 1936 The Campbell's Soup Program 1937 Lux Radio Theatre 1937 The Jell-O Program 1938 The George Burns and Gracie Allen Show 1938 Chesterfield Time 1939 Gulf Screen Guild Theatre 1939 Information Please 1940 The Hinds Honey and Almond Cream Program 1940 Good News of 1940 1940 The Rudy Vallee Sealtest Show 1940 Fibber McGee and Molly 1941 The New Burns and Allen Show 1942 United China Relief 1942 Command Performance 1942 It's Time To Smile 1942 Treasury Star Parade 1942 Well, I Swan 1943 This Is My Story 1943 The Bob Burns Show 1943 The Jack Benny Program 1943 Paul Whiteman Presents 1943 Cavalcade For Victory 1943 Mail Call 1944 Radio Hall Of Fame 1944 The Bakers Of America Show For the Armed Forces 1944 Your All-Time Hit Parade 1945 The Eddie Cantor Show 1945 Robert Benchley, Radio Critic 1945 Maxwell House Coffee Time 1945 The Danny Kaye Show 1945 Birds Eye Open House 1946 Request Performance 1947 The Jack Carson Show 1947 Songs By Sinatra 1947 Guest Star 1947 Front and Center 1948 Philco Radio Time 1948 The Eddie Cantor Pabst Blue Ribbon Show 1948 Kraft Music Hall 1949 Gisele Of Canada 1949 The Aldrich Family 1949 The AmmiDent Show 1949 The Adventures Of Philip Marlowe 1949 Life With Luigi 1949 The Bing Crosby Show 1949 Suspense 1951 Hedda Hopper's Hollywood 1952 The Bob Hope Show 1952 The Doris Day Show	Gracie Allen circa 1937	Here's an insightful article on Gracie Allen from October 22nd, 1939 edition of the Port Arthur News: This IS GRACIE Here a Close Friend of Gracie Allen Gives You a New Glimpse of the Vivacious Comedienne By MARY JACOBS EIGHT years ago, when she read in the newspapers that her dearest friend, Gracie Allen, had bought her first mink coat, Mary Kelly immediately telephoned her. "I'm so thrilled about your new coat, Gracie," she said. "Do come over and let me see it." Now at the time Gracie was a famous radio and movie star, sitting on top of the world. Mary, whom she had known for almost 15 years, had lost all her money in the depression and was working as a night telephone operator. Since Mary had nothing, Gracie hesitated to show off her finery. When Mary admired it, Gracie's eyes filled with tears. Suddenly she said in a choked voice, "I can't get you a mink coat, but let's go shopping right now. If you have a new coat I'll feel so much better." Then and there she canceled her afternoon appointments, went shopping with Mary Kelly and got Mary a stunning black cloth coat with Persian lamb collar and cuffs. "You know," pleasant-faced, blond, plump Mary Kelly, whom you hear regularly on the Burns and Allen show, told me, "the surprising thing is that Gracie has changed so little since the days we were in vaudeville, and lived together at the Hotel Endicott in New York. Then Gracie had left her former vaudeville partner, Larry Riley, and for months had been looking for a new partner without success. "Gracie, Rena Arnold (another vaudeville actress) and I shared an apartment, paying $30 a week among us. Though it must have been hard for Gracie to pay her share, not once did she default or ask for a loan because of being out of work. "I remember we girls each had chores. Rena made the coffee in the morning and Gracie and I washed the dishes. When we got up late it was such a nuisance to wash them that Gracie hit upon a scheme. "If we don't drink the coffee, we won't have to wash dishes," she announced. I've heard it said that Gracie can't sew on hooks and eyes so they get together. Well, it isn't so. Back in the days when we lived together, it was Gracie who sewed fresh collars and cuffs to our clothes. "At the time," Mary Kelly continued, "George Burns hadn't entered the scene. Gracie met him through Rena Arnold, who heard George was looking for a partner." GRACIE had been disappointed so often that when George phoned he'd come up to read his act to Gracie, she didn't believe him. When, on the dot of 8 o'clock, the doorbell rang, Gracie almost collapsed. "I can't believe it," she said. "He's actually here. Maybe this is going to be all right." He was more than just all right, for from the first it was obvious that George Burns was head over heels in love with Gracie Allen. He waited on her hand and foot. Half the time she didn't know at what theater they were playing, for George did everything but carry her there. When he had arranged a booking for them, he'd phone Gracie, tell her when to start for the theater, what subway to take, where to get off, on what street the stage entrance was and the number of her dressing room. "Once a week they'd go dancing at a night club," Mary Kelly said, running her fingers through her blond hair, "for they both loved dancing. As they grew to know each other better they'd have dinner together every night, but Gracie was very strict about paying her check, unless George had invited her out. "And we did have wonderful times together--Gracie, George, my boy friend and I, Jack Benny and Mary Livingstone. We'd have some of the most amusing parties. Always George took charge; he'd invent games to play, make the punch and plan the refreshments. Till the moment he arrived things were dull; then they went off with a bang. "I remember the grandest party of my life, just after I married my sweetheart, Ray Myers, who was a booker with the Orpheum Circuit. George arranged the chairs for the 12 guests as if the living room were a theater; he wrote ridiculously funny programs, and he planned the entertainment, most of which was done by him and Jack Benny. When George did an impersonation of Huck Finn, with his trousers rolled up and an umbrella slung over his shoulder in lieu of a fishing rod, Jack Benny laughed so loudly, tapping his feet at each gale of laughter, that the neighbors got suspicious." In the middle of the merriment two policemen came up to find out what all the noise was about. "In those days, when we were in or around New York, all of us would spend the week-ends at a little hotel at Lake Hopalong in New Jersey," Mary continued. The men would have their swimming and golfing; they loved it. But Gracie hates the country; she loves the city. She's not athletic and didn't learn to swim till a few years ago, when her two adopted children, Sandra and Ronald, began to be beach-conscious. She'd be bored by those week-ends; they were always the same. The same bad food at the hotel; George entertaining after dinner and then all of them "yipping down to the Yellow Bowl," as Gracie would say, "for an ice cream soda to finish the excitement of the evening." But since she knew the boys enjoyed it, and they could afford no better place, she always told them she loved it. "In those days, Gracie was as thrilled to go shopping as she is today and when she bought something, she was so impatient she wanted it delivered the next minute. I remember when she ordered her first fur coat, a Hudson seal. Every minute she was on the phone to ask if it was ready. "A few years ago, Gracie decided to have two diamond clips remade. Although the jeweler said they wouldn't be ready for two weeks, not a day passed but Gracie called him. When they finally arrived at his shop, she couldn't wait for them to be delivered, but hopped into the car and brought them back. That day Gracie tried them on everything she owned, from evening gowns to bathing suits." WHEN George and Gracie became world-famous while the fortunes of Mary Kelly declined, people said to Mary, "Now you and Gracie travel in such different circles, it will mean the end of your friendship. You've nothing in common and you'll never see Gracie." "Yet," says Mary, "for the next six years, every day Gracie Allen was in New York, I heard from her; her love and friendship helped me more than anything else to live through most trying days. "At the time I was working as a night telephone operator at the NVA Club, yet Gracie, who had plenty of demands upon her time, would come and sit with me for hours, kidding me along and cheering me up. "I've tried to take care of Gracie, too, at times," she added quietly. "Some time ago, when she came East, she was all tuckered out, and just had to have a rest. You know how much rest she's get at a hotel, so I suggested a plan to which George agreed, and together we convinced Gracie of its worth. "Gracie Allen just disappeared till the day of her broadcast--and no reporters or publicity people could find her. "I had her safely tucked away in the Park West Hospital, where for a week she did nothing but sleep, read, rest and eat. "Every afternoon I'd come up to find her snoozing her head off, and looking better by the hour. When George came for dinner each night he couldn't believe his eyes at the improvement. "Gracie always had had the tendency to keep her troubles to herself. When she worried about a song she was to sing in a picture, she went to bed with a headache, but not till she had tried uncomplainingly for hours to master it." Gracie has a temper, though she rarely loses it, and she'll disagree with George about the gags he prepares for their scripts. "I haven't the gall to say or do that," she insists. "It's much too silly." "Just try it, Gracie," George keeps saying. "I'm sure people will like it." Invariably he wins and people do like it. "And Gracie is mighty fussy about her food; it must be prepared just the way she wants it." Mary continued. She loves tomato juice, but put a pinch of sugar in it and the party is spoiled. Steaks and lamb chops must be so thin no one else would eat such puny fare and they must be shriveled up to satisfy Gracie. "There's one funny thing about Gracie: She loves surprises so much and she expects you to be so surprised at things everyone else realizes are common knowledge. "For example, she was so disappointed when I wasn't surprised to see her last fall. As if the newspapers hadn't been full of her coming East!" And from the March 23rd 1952 edition of the Oakland Tribune: Hollywood Beauty How Gracie Fights Wrinkles By LYDIA LANE HOLLYWOOD, March 22.—After Gracie Allen made her TV debut with her husband, George Burns, there was much comment on how young and attractive she looked, especially as it was known that last year they had celebrated their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. "How do you manage to keep your birthdays from showing?" I asked Gracie one afternoon as we sipped cool drinks in her lovely house in Beverly Hills. "If you are happy you feel well and if you feel well you don't have lines in your face," Gracie told me. "George and I are a rare couple in that we really like the same things—except sports." Gracie remarked that she tried to take up golf to please her husband but she got so bored. " I even hate walking, except in New York where I can window shop every step," she said. If being happily married was Gracie's secret for staying young I wanted to know her formula for a happy marriage. CONSIDERATE PAIR "Consideration," she said after a thoughtful pause. "I never take George for granted and I never ask him to wait on me. When he does, I always thank him. We have the same manner with each other that we do with strangers." As Gracie crossed the room to offer me a cigaret, I admired her slim little figure and asked, "Haven't you lost weight?" Gracie grinned proudly. "Yes, I've lost four pounds and as I weighed only a hundred and one, percentage wise, that's a lot I'm only five feet (she gives the appearance of being much taller ) so when I knew I was going on TV, I decided to diet." ''What diet did you follow?" I wanted to know. "Oh! I made it up," she said lightly." And it really works very well. I am staying on it all the time, only I allow myself indulgences so long as I don't gain. If I find I'm up a pound, I don't have any starches." Miss Allen's hair is champagne color and with her blue eyes and fair skin it is most becoming. "You're a natural blond, aren't you'" I asked. "Oh no," Gracie said with characteristic frankness. "My hair is naturally jet black. But when I came to Hollywood to do a picture it had no high lights and looked like an ink spot on the screen, so I started wearing wigs. I made several pictures at Paramount with them and found that people were so disappointed _________________________ Gracie's Diet A copy of "Gracie Allen's Basic Diet for Reducing and Maintaining Weight," including her "indulgencies" can be yours if you send five cents and a self-addressed, stamped envelope to Lydia Lane, Hollywood Beauty, in care of The Tribune, P.O. Box 509, Oakland 4. Ask for leaflet M-23. _________________________ to find I wasn't blond. I remember Adrian was making some clothes for me and he said, 'Why don't you bleach your hair?' I told him George married me with dark hair and that I'd have to ask him. So I did and promised him if he didn't like it I would dye it back. This is an example of the consideration that Gracie was talking about. "Would you advise anyone else to change the color of their hair?" I asked. "Not unless they can keep it up, because it's dreadful to see hair that is a different color at the part and on the sides. Dying is a very expensive deal. To keep my hair in good condition I also have a special scalp treatment," Gracie said. "What do you consider your top beauty secret?" I wanted to know. GOOD GROOMING "I'm not a glamour girl so I can't afford to neglect myself," she said. "I always try to do everything I can for myself." I never leave the house without wearing my best clothes. And when I come home I have them brushed and aired and carefully put on a hanger so they won't get out of shape. I always put trees in my shoes the moment I take them off. I'm a great believer in a stitch in time saving nine." I asked Gracie how she felt about perfumes. "I could be like some people—they have one scent and wear it all their life," she said. "I can't smell my perfume when I wear it too long and half the fun of perfume is enjoying it yourself, so I rotate four of my favorites." Gracie Allen wears no makeup on her clear, fine grained skin. "I felt if I wore one of those tinted foundation it would make me more glamorous," she commented. "But Georgie told me you have good skin—don't cover it up.' " "How do you care for your complexion?" I asked. "I never use either soap or water or astringents or heavy cream," Gracie answered. "I clean my face with an oil I've been using for years. Then I use a good lotion. I think you can ruin your skin by doing too much." Before I left Gracie's home I asked her for a copy of her "diet that really works," and the list of "indulgences" that turn the diet into a weight-controlling menu. I'll be happy to pass on a copy to you. Look for the leaflet offer on this page. Copyright 1952 for The Tribune From the August 20th 1963 Oakland Tribune: CYNTHIA LOWRY Artist of Timing? It's Gracie Allen HOLLYWOOD (AP)--Jack Benny, the acknowledged master of timing, insists that the performer without peer in this subtle art is Gracie Allen. Timing is the ability to do the right thing at the right moment, the quality that tells Benny, for example, exactly how long to pause before turning an exasperated face to the audience and exclaiming "Well." Gracie Allen has retired but those old Burns and Allen television shows are still around and Benny is their ardent fan. NOBODY ELSE "Nobody has Gracie's timing," Benny said, "and when I see those shows today I'm constantly more amazed by it. Remember, she had one of the toughest jobs in the world, doing non-sequitor lines. They came right out of the blue, and there was nothing in the feed lines that could cue her responses. They just didn't make sense. It was a terrible job to handle them. But she'd Ooh and Ah around and come up with them exactly right." Jack is deep in plans for his 14th season in network television, dismayed but not downhearted because of a CBS decision to separate him from "The Red Skeleton Show," which has preceded him in recent years. This year, "Petticoat Junction," a new comedy series, will be slipped between the established Tuesday night shows. COMPLAINT "I don't understand it," Benny complained. "It was a good setup and we helped each other. But all they seem to care about today is ensuring the success of new shows. Now I'm opposite the last part of two hour long shows and in back of an untried one." Isn't he tired of playing the same vain, miserly character? "Oh, it never gets boring," he protested. "The character is a composite of faults you'll find in everybody--or at least in everybody's family." "And besides," he added, "there's no limit to the cheap jokes. And we can do stingy jokes without even gag lines, because the character has been established for so long. And from the August 28th 1964 edition of the Oakland Tribune: Heart Attack Kills Gracie Allen at 58 HOLLYWOOD (AP) - Gracie Allen, whose scatterbrained comedy helped make Burns and Allen a top act in show business for 34 years, died last night after a heart attack. She was 58. Spokesmen for the family said Miss Allen died at 11:15 p.m. and that her husband, comedy actor George Burns, was at her side at Cedars of Lebanon Hospital. Contacted at the Burns home in Beverly Hills, William Burns, George's brother, said the popular comedienne had been in seemingly good health before being stricken. MILD ATTACK He said she had experienced mild heart attacks in the past. They didn't, however, seem to slow her down much. Ten days ago she and her husband were among the guests at the gala wedding reception for Edie Adams and her new husband Marty Mills. She appeared effervescent and cheerful, as she has been since her retirement in 1958. Until then, the strain of sustaining her nitwit role sometimes made her tense and withdrawn. REAL ACTRESS At the time of her retirement, Burns explained why she quit: "She's never missed acting for a minute. She never was a ham, anyway. Most actors are aware of playing to an audience. Not Gracie. The side of the stage toward the audience was a wall to her. She concentrated only on what she had to say and never gave a thought to cameras or lights or makeup or anything. "She deserved a rest. She had been working all her life, and her lines were the toughest in the world to do. They didn't make sense, so she had to memorize every word. It took a real actress. "Every spare moment — in bed, under the hair dryer — had to be spent in learning lines. Do you wonder that she's happy to be rid of it?" Miss Allen was born in 1906, the year of the great earthquake in San Francisco. Named Grace Ethel Cecile Rosalie Allen, she was one of four daughters of Edward Allen, a song and dance man then booked in San Francisco. At 3 1/3, she had made her stage debut but she continued in Catholic schools until she was 14, when she began a dancing act with her three older sisters. Later, she joined an Irish song and dance act and at one time went to secretarial school in Hoboken, N.J. It was in New Jersey that she met George. Born Nathan Birnbaum in 1896 Burns had been through the vaudeville mill and claims to have weathered 50 partners before encountering Gracie. She saw him on a bill at Union Hill, N.J., where he was booked as Burns and Lorraine. They met after the show and George revealed he was seeking a new partner. He suggested that Gracie join him. REWROTE THE ACT Gracie recalled later "Of course George had written this act for himself, with himself as the comedian and I as the straight man but the funny thing -- my straight lines got the laughs. People laughed twice as hard at my not being funny as they laughed at George's being funny. When we came of after the first show, he said, 'We're switching parts, Gracie.' He rewrote the act then and there." Burns and Allen played vaudeville for three years hefore he was able to convince her they should get married. They were wed in Cleveland on Jan. 7, 1926. INTO BIG TIME After their marriage they were propelled into the big time. They became headliners in vaudeville and starred on the bill that ended Vaudeville at New York's Palace Theater. After guest-starring on Rudy Vallee and Guy Lombardo radio programs, they began their own show on Feb 15. 1932. Their career continued in radio and television until Gracie's retirement. They also appeared in such movies as "Big Broadcast of 1932," "International House," "Love in Bloom," "Damsel in Distress," "College Swing," "Honolulu" and ' The Gracie Allen Murder Case." George once analyzed his wife's humor "Gracie is not really crazy, if she were, we couldn't get a day's work."

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The Burns and Allen Radio Programs | Part One

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From Vaudeville to Radio: 'Nat' Birnbaum and Grace Allen

The Burns and Allen Radio Programs Log | Part One

The Burns and Allen Radio Programs Biographies